


The Three-Year Stand Still

by sevlandexplorer



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Good Severus Snape, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Severus Snape-centric, Slow Burn, Young Severus Snape, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-01-03 05:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 36,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevlandexplorer/pseuds/sevlandexplorer
Summary: Severus has been in a coma for three years. They have kept him from aging but he'll never get those years back.





	1. The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Declaration: The world of Harry Potter and its characters belong to J. K. Rowling.

Eileen’s eyes filled with tears as she stared at the empty tray. She had waited three years to celebrate her son’s eighth birthday and it was already turning into a disaster. All Severus had asked for was chocolate cake and she couldn’t even give him that. 

She had been optimistic that morning, had sneaked into the kitchen at the back of the bar she worked in while her friends covered for her and had backed the cake. Margaret even let Eileen use her famous family recipe. It had turned out perfect, the heavenly smell filling the kitchen. She let it rest for a few minutes while she cleaned up and just when she had been about to wrap the cake, her boss Dimitri had walked in. Apparently, one of the costumers had smelled the cake and asked for a slice. Dimitri hadn’t been mad, like Eileen had expected, he hadn’t yelled or threatened to fire her. He had been delighted and ordered her to serve a slice. And so, in a matter of minutes the cake was gone. Eileen was crushed. She felt like she was a horrible mother, who couldn’t do anything right.

“There there, it’s alright.” said Margaret as she walked into the kitchen.

“No, it’s not! Everything’s ruined.” gasped Eileen, the tears running freely down her face.

“Stop it, dear. You don’t want your boy to see you all teary eyed on his birthday, do you?” asked Margaret. It made Eileen cry harder.

“I’ve got something that’s going to make you feel better.” Margaret tried again and reached into one of the cupboards. “I managed to save this while no one was looking. It’s not much but it’ll have to do.”

Eileen looked up to see her holding out a piece of the chocolate cake. “Oh, Meggy. You’re a life saver.” she said and pulled her in fierce hug.

Margaret patted her back. “You better get going before Dimitri sees this.” she whispered.

Eileen nodded. She wrapped the cake hastily and said her goodbyes before apparating to saint. Mungo’s. She had been visiting the hospital almost every day in the past few years. It hadn’t been easy, sitting by her son’s bedside, looking at his pale young face void of life. She’d carry the guilt to her grave. Tobias had beaten her precious son to the verge of death and she hadn’t been able to stop it. It hadn’t been the first time the lame excuse of a man had gotten drunk or turned violent. She should have taken Severus and ran out of that house a lot sooner. If she only had been brave enough to face the truth instead of living in denial for so long, none of this would have happened. Now, Tobias was locked up in jail and neither Eileen nor his son were carrying his name any longer but the damage was done.

That horrible night, seeing Severus bloodied and unconscious had awakened something in her she had forgotten was there. She had put all her selfish fears aside and had taken action, turning to her most basic instinct; magic. They told her at the hospital that she had saved Severus’ life but Eileen knew she was the one responsible for putting him on the hospital bed and she did all she could to make things right. She had swallowed her pride and begged her parents for help. They refused to take her back but let her access her inheritance for Severus’ sake.

It didn’t take long for Eileen to realize the money was not going to last very long. Keeping a coma patient in the best magical hospital in the wizarding Britain wasn’t cheap. And Eileen wanted the best care for her son. They had to make sure Severus didn’t end up with brain damage and horrible scaring on his face or suffer from nerve damage. All of those costed money. The most expensive thing though had been the anti-aging potion. Eileen had not wanted Severus to miss out on his childhood and wake up all grown up while his mental age remained the same. One of the nurses at the hospital had helped her find a job at Dimitri’s bar. Having not graduated Hogwarts it was the best Eileen could do. It didn’t pay much but came with room and board, which meant she could spend her inheritance on Severus.

Eileen smiled as she walked into the hospital room. Severus was sitting up on the bed, talking to healer Bell, who was checking his vitals. He beamed when he saw her enter and bounced where he sat. It was odd, seeing him acting like the young boy he was after all he had been through.

“Hi, mom!” he greeted, happily.

“Hello, dear. Happy birthday.” said Eileen and gave the boy a hug.

“I can’t believe you’re turning eight already, Severus. you’re such a big boy.” said the healer with a wink and started taking notes in Severus’ chart.

“He sure is.” agreed Eileen. She took the cake out of her bag. “I’ve got you something, darling.” She told Severus as she unwrapped it.

She held her breath, anticipating Severus’ disappointment at receiving a single slice instead of a whole cake. He surprised her however, as his dark eyes shone with excitement.

“It’s chocolate cake!” he exclaimed disbelievingly, admiring the treat like it was the most precious thing he’s ever seen. For some reason this reaction saddened her more. 

“Why don’t you try it?” she asked, giving him a fork.

Severus held the fork in his small hand and paused for a bit before digging in. His face split into a grin as he ate. “It’s really good. Where did you get it?” he asked, going for a second bite.

“I baked it myself.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you could bake a cake this delicious.” said Severus in awe. “You should have some, too.”

“It’s Ok, I had a piece earlier.” she lied. “I wish I could get you a present, too. Perhaps next year.” she added with a sigh.

“But I did get a present! Healer Bell said I should wait for you to open it.”

Eileen turned her questioning eyes to the healer who was still standing there, watching their exchange. The man reached into Severus’ bedside table and pulled out an envelope. Eileen’s eyes widened as she looked at the address written there; ‘Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.’

“It’s my Hogwarts letter. Can I open it, now?” asked Severus.

“You’re too young to go to Hogwarts, darling.” protested Eileen.

“But they’ve invited me. It came with an owl, just like you said it would. They must know I’m really eleven.” said Severus, his tone serious. “Please, mom. I want to learn to do magic. Can I open it?”

Eileen sighed, at a loss. “Eat your cake first, then we’ll open it together.” she conceded and gave him a kiss on the forehead before walking out the door. The healer followed.

“You must think I’m a terrible mother for even considering such a thing.” she said, once they were out of Severus’ earshot.

“It’s not my place to judge you, Ms. Prince. You’re his guardian and have a right to make decisions regarding his education.” said Bell. “Severus is legally eleven years old and his medical history is confidential. If you decide to send him to Hogwarts, no one will stop you.”

“He’s just a child. It’s not going to be easy for him to live away from me, surrounded by teenagers. But if I don’t let him go now, there’s no guarantee they’d accept him when he’s older. Even if they do, he’d be sitting his OWLs and NEWTs when he’s legally older than his peers and that might prevent him from finding a decent job. Teaching him at home is not an option. I work most of the day and I couldn’t afford to pay for tutors, either.” explained Eileen. She had been so focused on Severus getting his health back that she hadn’t given much thought to his education.

The healer sighed. “Were this any other child, I would have tried to talk you out of it but Severus is exceptionally bright. I’ve been testing his performance and I can confidently tell you that he’s way ahead of children his own age. It won’t be easy for him to sit in class with those three years older than him, but if he goes to school with people his own age he’s going to get bored and wouldn’t be able to use his full potential.” he said. “You don’t need to decide right away. It’s only January and school doesn’t start till September. Give it some thought.”

Eileen nodded. She got back into the room. Severus had cleared his plate and was sitting cross legged on his bed, holding the envelope to his chest. She gestured for him to open it.

Severus took a deep breath and broke the seal with care before taking out the letter and unfolding it. He read the message out loud, stuttering over a couple of the words. Eileen sat there and watched him as he went through the supply list, chattering excitedly about each and every item.

Afterwards, Eileen went back to work. She kept thinking about every possible scenario as she went through the motion of serving the consumers and whipping the tables. At the end of her shift, she went up to her room. The space was small. The only piece of furniture was a cot that sat against the wall. All of her belongings fit into a trunk that was placed at the foot of the bed. The wall by the door was cracked and the ceiling leaked. She could hear the noises coming from down the stairs. Every night the place got filled with men, who drank themselves into a stupor. Men like Tobias. This was no place to raise a child. She had already made her decision, she realized as she got ready for bed.


	2. Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus goes shopping for school.

It was the most exciting day of Severus' life, they were going to go shopping for school supplies. Someone had send his mother’s old school things the day before and they had found most of the things he needed, like books and potion equipment, quills and some parchment. But mom’s first year robes had been too big and she said they wouldn’t find anything second hand that would fit him. They of course needed to get Severus his own wand as well. He also needed fresh potion ingredients from the apothecary. 

Severus couldn’t stop squirming where he sat in anticipation of their little shopping trip. He was practicing his writing, like he had been doing every day for the past months, but every few lines he wrote, without even realizing it, his gaze would turn to the window. Their room had the perfect view to Diagon Alley. The building was located at a side alley and up in their room they could see everything that was going on at the busy street through their window. Severus had spent hours watching the witches and wizards walking up and down Diagon Alley, since he was all alone in their room most of the time while mother worked. He had gone to the alley a few times but he had only ever been to the second hand store, where they shopped for clothes, and Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. Today though, he was going to visit Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Ollivander’s and Slug and Jiggers Apothecary, all in one go. 

In a couple of weeks, Severus was going to Hogwarts to learn magic and become a proper wizard. He knew his mother was worried but he didn’t understand why. He had grown up hearing stories of Hogwarts and what an amazing place it was; a castle so big that sometimes the students got lost on their way to class, with moving staircases and talking portraits. Severus was going to make a lot of friends there, so that he wouldn’t be lonely all the time.

He didn’t have any friends when they live at Spinner’s End either but back then, he used to have his mother all to himself. Now, mother worked all the time. The other big change in Severus’ life was his father’s absence, which made him feel twice as lonely. His mom had said father had left them but Severus could tell there was more to the story than that. He didn’t remember what had happened before he got sick. He knew he had an accident and got a head injury but that was all.

His father had been a scary man. He was tall and broad with large strong hands and he liked to drink booze. Severus didn’t know why his father liked drinking booze so much, it smelled awful and made him a lot meaner than he usually was. Sometimes, the man hurt his mother and Severus hated him for it. Now that father was gone, his mother was a lot happier; tired but happier.

Severus liked living with his mom. There was no more yelling and nobody minded if he talked too loud or ran around. Nobody made fun of him for acting silly or got angry when he spilled some milk on the table or broke a cup. He no longer felt alone and sad but there was a part of him that still missed his father. He had always dreamed that one day his father would change. That he’d stop drinking so much and become nicer like Severus remembered him being when he was small. He wanted his father to be like other men he saw at the park. The kind of father who hugged and kissed their children and played with them.

He asked about his father a few times after he had woken up in the hospital but his mom always got upset when he did, so he had stopped asking. Mom said that father was never coming back. Severus hoped he would come back one day and turn into the best dad in the world. Severus was worried that his father wasn't going to find them, though when he decided to come back. They were living in London now and the magical part of the town at that and father was a muggle.

Severus sighed and got back to his homework. His mom would be up there any minute and she would be cross if he didn’t finish his work. He managed to focus long enough to get it all done and moved to sit on the window sill and watched the Alley buzzing with activity. It was more crowded than usual, since everyone was shopping for Hogwarts. He was so engrossed in the scene before him that he jumped when mother put a hand on his shoulder.

“Your handwriting seems to have declined today.” said his mom.

He blushed and looked down. He had been too distracted to pay attention to his work. “I’m sorry.” he murmured.

“It’s alright, I know you’re excited. Get ready, so that we can get going.”

Severus didn’t need to be told twice. He wore his jacket, put on his shoes and stood by the door as his mother put away her apron and brushed her hair.

“Where are we going first, mom?” he asked as they climbed down the stairs together.

“We’ll get you fitted for your robes.” answered his mom and opened the door.

Madam Malkin's was more crowded than the second hand store and there were all kinds of colorful robes on display.

“What can I do for you, ma’am?” asked a kind looking lady.

“My son needs a couple of sets of robes.” said Severus’ mother.

The shopkeeper turned to look at him and smiled. “The children’s robes are right over here.” She said, pointing to a corner.

“He’s going to need Hogwarts robes.”

The woman frowned for a moment before smiling at him once more. “Do you want to have robes like your big brother or sister?” she asked with a wink.

“I don’t have brothers or sisters. I’m an only child.” answered Severus.

“Like your older friends then?”

“I don’t have friends either.” said Severus. “I’m going to make lots of friends when I go to Hogwarts, though.”

“I’m sure you will, sweetheart.” said the shopkeeper and started walking to the back of the shop.

Severus looked back to his mother who nodded and followed. The lady helped him step on a foot stool and slipped a large robe over his head, then began to pin it to the right length. Once she was done, she stepped aside and looked at her handy work.

“You’re the most adorable Hogwarts student I’ve ever seen.” she said before taking the robe off of him.

Severus got down from the stool and joined his mother. They went to Slug and Jiggers next. Severus looked at the ingredients and jars filled with slimy substances on display with fascination as his mother picked up what he needed. Everything smelled funky. It was kind of cool. He was reluctant to leave once they bought all he needed but as his mother reminded him of their next destination, he grew excited and forgot all about the apothecary.

He held his breath as they entered the wand shop. The walls were covered with boxes, pilled on top of one another.

“Good morning, Mr. Ollivander.” his mother greeted.

“Good morning to you, miss.” said the old man, standing behind the counter. “Are you here for a new wand?”

“I’ve already got one. My son Severus is ready for his own.”

“Severus Prince, is that it?” asked Ollivander, stepping closer.

“How did you know my name?” asked Severus.

“I get a list of all of the first years, so that I can prepare.” explained Ollivander. “You’re on the smaller side, aren’t you?” he murmured.

A measuring tape appeared and started measuring him. Severus giggled as the tape moved, tickling him.

“Which is your wand arm?” asked the old man.

“Left arm.” his mother answered for him.

Ollivander handed him a light colored wand. “Birch, with unicorn hair, eight inches. Plaint but sufficient.” he announced.

Severus held it in his hand and waved it but nothing happened.

Ollivander took the wand with a frown and handed him another light colored wand. “Butternut and phoenix feather, seven inches. Quite springy.”

Severus tried the wand but that one didn’t work either.

“Perhaps you should try a darker one.” suggested his mother.

“Perhaps. He is a prince after all, though certainly on the softer side.” said Ollivander and picked up another box. “Ash with a dragon heartstring core, twelve inches. Strong but flexible.”

The wand tingled in Severus hand but not in a good way. He shook his head.

Ollivander studied him thoughtfully for a moment. “I’ve got something that might work. It’s certainly a unique combination.” he announced and looked through the stacked boxes before finding what he was looking for. “Ebony, with unicorn hair, twelve and a half inches. unyielding and dark on the outside with a pure core.”

The moment Severus touched the wand, his heart started pounding. It was like embracing a long lost friend. He waved the wand and watched as a silver and gold strand erupted from the end. He looked at the two adults watching him and beamed. “This is my wand.” he announced.

“Congratulations, young man.” exclaimed Ollivander with a smile. “I’ve had this wand for some time, seems like it was waiting for you. Unicorn hair wands are extremely loyal and this one waited a long time to bond with someone. You’re going to do great things with it.” he continued as he put the wand in its box and wrapped the it in brown paper. “That would be seven Galleons.” he said, 

Severus watched as his mother counted the coins and handed them over, a deep frown forming on her face. It made the moment a little less special. They exited the shop and headed towards home. Mother hesitated in front of the ice-cream parlor. She always let him have ice-cream when they went shopping, but Severus wasn’t sure if she had enough money this time.

“I don’t feel like eating ice-cream.” he said. “Can we get my robes and go home? I want to show aunt Margaret.” he added as mother’s eyebrows rose in bewilderment.

“Alright.” she agreed, relieved.

They got his robes and went home. Severus put on them on as soon as they reached their room and refused to take them off until it was time for bed. He went to sleep that night holding his wand in his hand, he had found his first friend.


	3. The Train Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus boards the train and finds a new friend.

The day was finally here, Severus was going to Hogwarts. He was beyond excited. He had started reading his books as soon as he had gotten them and had his trunk packed and ready a week early. He had been counting the days, the minutes, until he was to take the train to the magical castle and the moment had arrived. 

His mother took the morning off of work and they rode a muggle taxi to the station. A few minutes later, they were standing before the gateway to the platform nine and three quarters. Severus beamed as they moved through the barrier and were met with the sight of the magnificent train. There were people everywhere, children and parents standing in groups, running around, talking and laughing. Severus watched with wide eyes, taking it all in.

His view was blocked as his mother kneeled before him. Severus looked at her and saw that her eyes were filled with worry. He reached out and caught the tear than ran down her face. “Why are you crying, mom? Aren’t you happy I’m going to school?” he asked, frowning.

“I’m worried for you.” answered his mother, giving him a sad smile.

“It’s going to be alright, you’ll see.” said Severus softly, cupping her cheek in his palm.

She took his hand in her own and squeezed it. “Listen to me, Severus. I want you to get sorted in Hufflepuff.” she said.

“You don’t want me to be in Slytherin, like you?”

“You’re going to school with children that are way older and I don’t want them to be mean to you. Hufflepuff is where all the nice kids are. That’s where you should go.”

Severus bit his lip and looked around. All the children were taller and bigger than him. “Do you think they’ll let me go where I want? What about the sorting?” he asked, uncertainly.

“There’s an old hat that decides where you go. If you talk to it, it’ll listen.” she assured him.

Severus raised an eyebrow. “A hat? Are you messing with, mom?” he asked.

His mother chuckled and pulled him into her arms. Severus sighed and shook his head but returned the hug.

“Write me as soon as you can.” mother said when they pulled apart. “And remember, brush your teeth before bed and don’t eat too much sweets at meals. Make sure your clothes are tidy when you want to go to class. Be polite to everyone and respect your teachers” she rambled on as she straightened his robes.

“I’ll be good, mom. Promise.”

“Go on then.” said his mother, raising to her feet. “Don’t forget to write.”

Severus gave her a quick hug before moving towards the train, dragging his trunk after him. He was about to get on the train when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned around to see a man standing behind him, wearing some kind of uniform.

“I’m sorry kid. You can’t board the train if you’re not a student.” said the man. “Where are your parents?”

“But I am a student!” protested Severus.

“I don’t think so.” said the man and picked up his trunk.

“But ...”

“Are your parents here?”

“Yeah, my mom is right there.” said Severus, pointing to where his mother was standing and waved at her. She waved back.

“Alright. Let’s go. I’ll take you to your mom.”

Severus opened and closed his mouth, at a loss. Suddenly, he remembered something and reached into his pocket, taking out his precious Hogwarts letter. “See? That’s my invitation. It came with an owl. It has my name on it and everything” he said, handing it over. “And this is my ticket.” he added as the man read through his letter and help up the ticket for him to see.

“Looks about right.” murmured the man, handing the letter back. “Sorry about that. I’m the conductor and need to make sure everything’s in order.” he said and carried Severus’ trunk up the stairs for him. “I hope you enjoy the ride.”

“Thank you, mister.” said Severus. He heaved a sigh of relief when the conductor left him there. He waved to his mom again and watched as she left the platform, before looking for an empty compartment. It took some time, most of them were already full. He smiled as he found a compartment with only one boy sitting there and opened the door.

“Excuse me. Can I sit here with you?” he asked shyly.

The sandy hair boy looked up from the book he was reading and nodded before hiding his face behind it once more. Severus sat in front of him and looked around for a moment before turning his attention back to the other boy. He leaned forward to take a better look at the book. ‘Hogwarts a History’ read the title.

“That’s a cool book.” he commented. “I read my mom’s old one. Which chapter are you on?”

The boy was quiet for a moment. “It’s … the … the part about … the Great hall.” he finally answered in a small voice, stuttering.

“That’s a good one.” said Severus. “My book didn’t have pictures. Does the new one have any?” he asked hopefully. 

“No pictures, no.” said the boy, turning the book around to let him see.

Severus sighed in disappointment. They were both silent for a moment, the boy didn’t go back to reading his book, though. “What year are you in?” asked Severus, unable to keep quiet for long.

“I … um … I’m just starting.”

“Really? Me, too!” exclaimed Severus, perking up.

“You … you look a bit … small.”

“I know, but my mom says I’m going to get tall when I’m older.”

The boy gave him a skeptical look but nodded, looking down at his hands. Severus noticed that they were shaking.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

The boy looked up and blinked a few times, then nodded again.

“Why?”

“I’m just … worried. Being a first year and all. I’m not good at making friends.” he admitted.

“I’ll be your friend! We’ll have so much fun together.” offered Severus, beaming as him. The boy smiled back. “My name is Severus. What is yours?”

“Remus. Remus Lupin.” he said and hesitantly offered his hand.

Severus shook it, giggling at the sight of his own small hand disappearing in the other boy’s giant one.

“Do you like exploding snap?” asked Remus, taking a deck of cards out of his bag.

“I don’t know what that is.” said Severus, looking at the cards curiously. “Is it a game? Can you teach me?”

“Yes, it’s a game. The cards explode when you score. Let me show you, just don’t get close to the cards, you don’t want them exploding in your face.” warned Remus.

Severus moved to sit next to him. Remus explained the rules and they started playing. Severus giggled every time the cards exploded, which made Remus smile. When it was time for lunch, they shared the food they had brought from home and got back to the game. At some point Severus fell sleep, despite his excitement.


	4. The Sorting Hat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Remus get sorted.

Severus opened his eyes and rubbed at his face groggily. Remus was sitting next to him looking out the window. There were two girls sitting opposite them, talking to each other. One of them was a redhead and the other had brown hair. They looked all grown up.

“Hello.” said Severus, tentatively.

Both girls turned to him. “Oh, hi. You woke up!” said the one with brown hair, smiling. “What’s your name?”

“Severus.” he answered. “What’s yours?”

“I’m Alice and this is Molly.” said the girl.

“What year are you in?”

“I’m in fourth year and Molly is a third year.” said Alice. “You must be one of the staffs’ kid. Are you Slughorn’s son?”

“Ew! He’s too cute to be that slimy whale’s son.” protested the redhead then blushed, her face matching her hair color. “He’s not your dad, is he?” she asked with a grimace.

“No, he’s not.”

Molly looked relieved. “Are you Sprout’s or Pomfrey’s son?” she asked.

Severus shook his head. “I’m not any of these people’s son. I’m a first year!” he said, frustrated.

Both girls laughed. “Isn’t he adorable?” whispered Alice, to which Molly nodded.

Severus huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. First the conductor and now these two. Wasn’t anyone going to take him seriously?

“We’re almost there, Let’s go change in the bathroom.” Molly told her friend.

“Alright.” agreed Alice and stood up. “You should change, too Remus. See you at the sorting.”

“See you.” mumbled Remus.

“Hope to see you again, Severus.” cooed Molly, as if talking to a small child.

Severus glared at the pair of them and they laughed again.

“Girls.” he grumbled as the door closed behind them. He heard Remus chuckle. “What?” he snapped.

“Nothing.” said Remus, and opened his trunk, turning his back to Severus.

Severus narrowed his eyes and took out his own robes. They got dressed just in time. The train stopped in Hogsmeade station and the students started pouring out of their compartments. Remus put a hand on his shoulder as they navigated their way out of the train, for which Severus was secretly grateful.

A giant man with a shaggy bread called for all the first years to get in boats. Remus and Severus climbed into a boat together with two other boys already in it. They sat in awkward silence as the other pair chattered excitedly.

“So … we’re finally here.” said Remus in a cheerful voice.

Severus looked at him through his eyelashes. “Yeah.” he responded. He was still mad but didn’t want to alienate his new friend.

“My mom said the feast is pretty great.” Remus tried again.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m sure it’s all going to be delicious. We shouldn’t eat too much main, though cause the desserts are going to be amazing. There’s truffles and cakes and ice-cream.”

“Sounds good.” commented Severus.

“Look! There’s the castle.” exclaimed someone in another boat, pointing at the hill in front of them.

“Wow. It’s really big.” said Severus as he got his first look at Hogwarts. He didn’t take his eyes off of the castle as they crossed the lake.

The giant man led them to the front door, where a stern looking woman was waiting. Severus hid behind Remus as they went inside, not wanting another confrontation about his age. 

It took forever for them to finally be allowed into the Great Hall. It was everything Severus had imagined and more. The room was filled with students. There were hundreds of floating candles in the air and the ceiling was reflected the evening sky. He turned to Remus and they both grinned.

Severus’ eyes widened as McGonagall put an old hat in front of the students. The hat started singing. His mother was right; the hat was the one in charge. The Professor started calling people’s names and the sorting hat decided what house they should go to. Severus shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he watched the sorting. Every time the hat yelled out a different house and everyone would clap, though there seemed to be less clapping for Slytherins.

Remus tensed when his name was called. He took a few steps forward before turning and giving Severus an uncertain look. Severus nodded encouragingly at him and it seemed to make Remus feel better, since he walked the rest of the way with more confidence. The hat rested on his head for a few seconds before yelling “Gryffindor!”

Remus blushed as his housemates cheered loudly and joined them at their table. He looked happy there.

A few names later and it was finally Severus’ turn. He took a deep breath as he walked up to the stool. The students started whispering immediately. McGonagall watched with wide eyes as he sat on the stool. She hesitated for a moment and glanced at the head table, before lowering the hat on his head. It almost swallowed him.

“Mr. hat?” whispered Severus, feeling ridiculous for talking to a piece of cloth. “Can you put me in Hufflepuff with all the nice kids?”

To his surprise the hat talked back. “Hufflepuff?” it repeated, then chuckled. “That would be interesting, but I’m afraid I can’t do that. My job is to put you in a house that’ll help you thrive and accomplish great things and Hufflepuff is not going to do for you.”

Severus sighed in disappointment. “What about Gryffindor? My friend Remus is there.” he tried again.

“Hmmm, you certainly have a strike of bravery in you. I’d put you in Slytherin or Ravenclaw before Gryffindor but under the circumstances I suppose a friend would do you more good. You better be …. Gryffindor!”

Severus watched in awe as his tie changed color and Gryffindor’s crest appeared on his robes. He hoped down the stool and searched the red and gold table for his friend. Remus smiled at him and made room on the bench he was sitting on. Severus went over and sat there before putting his hands around Remus and giving him a quick hug.

“So, what are you? Like five?”

Severus turned his attention to his other housemates. They were all staring at him. They hadn’t cheered for him like they had for Remus.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the boy who was talking to him. He had messy black hair and wore glasses. “Do you really think that they’d let a five-year-old come to Hogwarts?” he asked.

“You even talk like one.” said another boy. He was on the chubby side and had watery blue eyes.

“He’s just a little short. That’s all.” defended Remus, putting a hand on his shoulder. It made Severus feel better.

“Are you related to Flitwick?” asked one of the older kids.

“I don’t know who that is.”

Further discussion was halted as the Headmaster stood and started his speech. He looked about a thousand years old, with his long beard and wrinkled face. Once he was done talking, piles of food appeared on the tables and everyone started filling their plates.

Severus kneeled on the bench to see better. He scrunched up his nose at the sight of lamb and beef and searched for chicken. He found some type of bird meat that looked juicy and made his mouth water and reached for the ladle but his arms were too short. Frowning a little, Severus turned to Remus who already had a plate filled with beef and yanked at his robes to get his attention.

“I can’t reach. Can you get me some of that?” he asked.

Remus swallowed his mouthful and nodded. He took Severus’ plate and put some of the meat on it. “What type of potatoes do you want?” he asked.

“Roasted.”

Remus gave him a serving of potatoes and then put some green beans there without asking before placing the plate in front of Severus.

“Thanks, Remus.” he said and picked up his fork. But Remus wasn’t listening. His attention was on the conversation taking place across the table.

“No way! That’s so cool.” the boy with the glasses was saying. “Everyone else in your town is muggle? And you went to an all muggle school?”

“Yes.” answered a girl with vibrant green eyes and fiery red hair. She was very pretty. “Although, we didn’t call it that.”

“What is your town’s name again?” asked another boy with silver blue eyes.

“Cokeworth. It’s not as big as London, but there’s a mill there …”

“And a river.” added Severus.

All the eyes turned to him. “You’re from Cokeworth, too?” asked the girl, her expression hopeful.

“No.” said Severus. He wasn’t supposed to tell people about the accident. “I went there when I was little.”

“Oh.” said the girl, her face falling. She looked about as nervous as Remus did when they had first met. “Where do you live, then?”

“I live right next to Diagon Alley.”

“No way!” exclaimed the boy with glasses. “Do you go testing the new broom models as soon as they come?”

“I’m not into brooms.” said Severus. “But I can see the whole entire alley from my window.”

“Wicked.” said the boy. “The name’s James Potter, by the way.” he introduced. “This here is Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and that’s Lily.”

“Lily Evans.” corrected the redheaded girl.

“Severus Prince.” said Severus, smiling at them.

“That’s a pureblood name.” commented Sirius.

“My mom’s a pureblood.”

“What about your dad?”

“He doesn’t live with us.” said Severus and looked down at his plate. He lifted his fork to take the first bite when it all suddenly disappeared. “Where did it go?” he asked, exasperated. He was really hungry.

James and Sirius laughed.

“You weren’t finished?” asked Remus. “It’s OK. You can have more dessert instead. Let me get you something.” he added and put a piece of cake and some ice-cream on a plate for him.

“It’s chocolate cake!” said Severus excitedly and took a bite. It wasn’t as good as his mom’s but still good. This time he kept his attention on his food as everyone talked around him. He was almost done when it was time for bed.


	5. The Morning Post

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus starts his first day as a Hogwarts student.

Severus grinned to himself as he woke up in his four-poster bed and kicked the covers away. He opened the red curtains, only to find the rest of his dorm mates were still asleep. He sat on the edge of the bed for a few minutes, swinging his legs and looking from Remus to Sirius, who were sleeping on either side of him. He sighed and hoped down the bed. He stood there for a second, uncertain what to do, until his eyes fell on his trunk and realized he hadn’t unpacked yet. He put his clothes in the drawers by his bed and placed his books neatly on top. He then sat on the floor and wrote a letter to his mom. He wrote about how the hat hadn’t let him go to Hufflepuff and instead put him in Gryffindor with his friend Remus. He also wrote about the feast and how the chocolate cake hadn’t been as good as his mom’s.

Severus wasn’t sure where he could find an owl to send the letter, so he put it in his bag for now. He went to the bathroom next. The water was nice and worm and Severus spent a good twenty minutes in the shower, singing to himself and washing up. He put on his robes, brushed his teeth and combed his hair before stepping back into the dorm. Severus huffed when he saw everyone was still asleep; they were going to be late on their very first day. He climbed on Remus’ bed and shook him awake.

Remus hummed and turned away, pulling the blanket over his head.

“Wake up, Remus! It’s our first day.” said Severus, shaking him again. “We’ve got to go to breakfast and get our schedule. And I want to go find the owls before the classes start.”

“Why in seven hells are you making so much noise, kid?” snapped Sirius, sitting up and stretching.

“Don’t call me a kid. We’re the same age.” Severus snapped back and turned to Remus. “Come on, wake up. I’m hungry, I want to go have breakfast.”

“Fine.” mumbled Remus and stood up, stumbling as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Did you sleep in those?” asked Sirius, pointing to his robes.

“I just put them on. I’ve been awake for an hour.”

“It’s seven! What is wrong with you?” whined James, getting out of bed. His messy hair had doubled in size.

Severus giggled at the sight of him. “Your hair looks funny.” he said.

Sirius chuckled and ruffled his hair. “So dose yours.” he teased.

“Hey!” 

“Alright, kid. We’ll go get breakfast.” said Sirius and went to the bathroom.

Severus sat crossed legged on Remus’ bed and watched as the other boys got ready. Peter was the last one to get up and put on his robes. They walked out of the tower together. None of them remembered the way to the hall that well but they managed, asking the portraits for directions whenever they felt a little lost.

The hall was almost empty when they entered and most of the students there were upper years. Even the factuality table was only halfway full.

“Well, what do you know. No one’s stupid enough to go to breakfast at the crack of dawn.” grumbled James as they sat at the Gryffindor table. His hair looked only slightly better than when he woke up and it made Severus giggle.

He was delighted to see that unlike last night, nothing was put in gigantic tall dishes and he could reach anything he wanted. There were eggs, bacon, beans and pastries, but Severus decided he needed something healthy since he had had dessert for dinner last night and picked up a bowl of porridge and an apple. The other boys got into a better mood as they started eating and chattered excitedly about the day ahead.

They were almost done eating when Professor McGonagall walked up to their table. She frowned at seeing James’ hair before her eyes fell on Severus. She took in the way he was kneeling on the bench and raised an eyebrow.

“Good Morning, Professor!” greeted Severus, grinning up at her.

McGonagall’s lips curved into a small smile. “Good morning, Mr. Prince. I have your schedule here.” she said and gave him a piece of parchment before turning to the others and handing them the same paper. “I see you boys are all ready to get to your classes.” she said, glancing at the students who had just arrived. “See you at transfiguration.” with that she moved to talk to the new comers.

“We’ve got potions and transfiguration this morning.” said Remus, reading the schedule.

“We’ve got to wait till Wednesday for flying. They could have at least let us bring our brooms.” said James.

“I bet you’re good at flying.” said Peter, giving James an admiring look.

James grinned. “Of course I am. I’m going to be in the quidditch team next year and I’ll be the best chaser Hogwarts has ever seen.” he announced, his chest puffed up like a peacock.

Severus turned to Remus and they shared a look. This boy was really full of himself.

“Where do you think they keep the owls?” he asked Remus.

“There’s got to be an owlery. Probably in one of the towers.” answered his friend thoughtfully.

“Can we go? I want to send my letter before class.”

“The owlery? Seriously? We’ve got to go exploring. There are secret passages all over this castle.” said James, his eyes shining with mischief.

“But I have to send my letter now. Don’t you want to write to your mom?”

“We sent our letters last night, when you were sleeping. Today is for exploring, right Sirius?”

“Sure.” agreed the other boy, grinning.

“It sounds like fun.” said Peter, already standing.

“It’s Ok, Severus. I’ll come with you.” said Remus. “We’ll see you guys at potions.”

They were all about to get up when a sea of owls poured into the hall. There were carrying all kinds of parcels, letters and newspapers. His dorm mates got a letter each. Sirius’ looked different, though. It was red and was smocking in the corners. Sirius’ face whitened as if he had seen a ghost but for some reason, some of the kids around them looked excited. Others covered their ears.

A moment later, a woman started yelling. Severus jumped back in surprise. The letter was from Sirius’ mother, it seemed and she wasn’t happy about him getting sorted in Gryffindor.

When the yelling was finally over, Sirius sat back down, the previous excitement had drain out of him. There were people whispering all around them.

“Why is your mom so mad?” asked Severus softly, truly confused.

“Because she’s a shrill old hag, that’s why!” Sirius bit out.

Severus frowned, understanding dawning on him. “My dad’s pretty mean, too.” he said

Sirius stared at him for a second. “I thought you said he doesn’t live with you.”

“He doesn’t anymore. He left.” said Severus. “He always found something to be mad about.” he added with a sigh.

Sirius stared at him for a few seconds longer. “Let’s go find the owlery.” he said and stood up.

James groaned but didn’t protest farther as the left the hall and the whispering kids behind.


	6. Bob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus' first day of classes is as exciting as he imagined it would be.

“Wow, there are so many owls here.” said Severus as they entered the owlery. He scanned the room curiously, taking in the birds’ various shapes and colors. “They don’t have some of them in the pet shop.”

“Really?” murmured Remus. He looked uneasy around the owls but stepped closer to take a better look.

A brown and white barn owl flew and landed in front of Severus. He crouched down and petted its soft features. “You are really pretty. I’m going to call you, Tes.” he told the bird.

“You can’t name a school owl.” said Sirius.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not your familiar.”

“Tes doesn’t mind.” protested Severus. “Do you?” he asked. The bird only gave him a blank look.

“Would you hurry it up? This place sticks.” said James, looking annoyed.

Severus sighed and took the letter out of his bag. He tied it to owl’s leg, just like he had seen his mother do. “Take it to Dimitri’s Dashing Dinner. It’s near Diagon Alley. Give it Eileen Prince; that’s my mom.” he whispered to the bird and watched as it flew out the window, wondering what his mom and aunt Meggy were up to.

“Alright, let’s go. Potion class is all the way down in the dungeons.” said Sirius.

Peter groaned. “Why does this bloody castle have so many stairs?” he whined.

“Because it’s a castle.” retorted James.

The other boys laughed but Severus didn’t. He was starting to miss his mom. “Do you guys have familiars?” he asked.

“I have an owl.” answered Peter. “James’s got one, too.”

“What about you two?”

“I don’t need an owl. It’s not like I’m going to write to my parents.” said Sirius, sticking his hands into his pockets.

“I don’t have one either. Birds tent not to like me.” said Remus.

“I wish I had one.” said Severus sourly. “A cat would be nice, too.”

“If you want a familiar so bad, why didn’t you buy one?” asked Sirius.

“They’re expensive.” answered Severus simply. “What if I find one? Could I keep it?” he asked, looking over his shoulder in the direction of the owlery.

“You can’t take a school owl. They work for Hogwarts.”

“Maybe you can find a toad by the lake.” said Remus.

Severus smiled at him, feeling a little better. 

They were all out of breath by the time they reached the dungeons. Their housemates were all sitting at one side of the class, while the other side was filled with Slytherin students.

They sat together near the back of the classroom on the Gryffindor side. Just as they were taking out their books, the professor entered. Professor Slughorn welcomed them to Hogwarts and talked about the art of potion making, its importance and where it could take them in life.

Severus was barely paying attention to the man’s speech. He was sitting so far back that he couldn’t see the Professor. Everyone was way taller than him and they blocked his view completely. He tried kneeling on the bench like he did at the table in the Great Hall, but it didn’t work. He craned his neck this way or that way and only managed to take glimpses of the man.

Suddenly, Slughorn stopped talking. Severus could hear his footsteps as he walked closer. The Professor stopped in front of their bench and Severus got his first good look at the heavy man.

“Mr. Prince? I’m afraid I can’t see you well while you’re sitting here. Do you mind changing seats and moving to the front of the class?” asked Slughorn, his mustache twitching as he smiled.

“Okay, Professor.” said Severus, smiling back and gathered his things.

A few people snickered but he didn’t pay much attention to them, he did want to change seats. At the front row sat the redheaded girl; Lily and her friend Mary. They didn’t seem like they were about to budge, so he looked at the other side of the class. A boy with curly black hair was sitting alone on the bench there, so Severus went over and sat next to him. The boy gave him a funny look and the other students started whispering. The Professor didn’t seem to mind, however. He smiled again and continued with his speech as if nothing has happened.

“My name’s Severus.” he whispered to the boy.

“Whatever.” was his only response.

Slughorn told them to brew a potion for curing boils. Severus’ eyes lit up, he had always wanted to brew a potion for himself. His mother never allowed him near the cauldron. He gathered his ingredients and got to work. He weighed the dried nettles carefully and sat them neatly on the bench. Crushing the snake fangs turned out to be a bit of a challenge for him, while everyone else seemed to be doing just fine. Severus frowned his brows in concentration and gripped the pestle with both hands. He put all his strength into it and finally managed to make them into a fine powder. He smiled in triumph and started putting things in the cauldron and string according to the instructions. In the end, he took the cauldron off of the burner and then added the porcupine quills.

“Excellent job, Mr. Prince.” praised Slughorn as he started to check on their potions. “Your potion looks decent as well, Mr. Rosier. Would have worked better if your snake fangs were crushed finer, though.”

The boy’s cheeks turned red in embarrassment. “Yes, sir.” he mumbled.

“The fangs were tricky.” said Severus in sympathy as the Professor moved to the next table.

The boy frowned at him. “You’ve brewed a potion before?” he asked.

“No, but I’ve seen my mom do it a few times.” answered Severus.

“Why would you make a potion when you can just buy one?”

“I think it’s fun.” said Severus with a shrug and started cleaning up his station.

“Severus, is it? Severus Prince?”

“Yeah.” answered Severus. “I still don’t know your name.”

“I’m Evan.” said the boy, his green eyes narrowed. “Are you a real Prince?”

Severus giggled at the question. It was the silliest thing he had ever heard.

“Come on, Severus. Let’s go.” said Sirius, picking up his bag. He looked mad for some reason.

“You didn’t answer my question.” the Slytherin boy told Severus.

“Beat it, Evan! He doesn’t have to tell you anything.” retorted Sirius and dragged him away. “What did he ask you?” he said as they exited the classroom.

“Nothing. He was just being silly.” said Severus, confused. “Why are you so upset?”

“He’s a real scum that one. I don’t want him bothering you.”

“He seemed Okay.”

“They all seem Okay, but they’re a bunch of pureblood scum.” declared Sirius.

Severus frowned. He didn’t understand Sirius, he made no sense.

“There you are.” said James as the others caught up with them. “I thought you were going to ditch us.” he added, looking between the two of them.

“We were just talking, that’s all.” said Sirius and gave him his bag before ruffling his hair.

Severus squirmed away. “You’re messing up my hair.” he complained and moved to stand on the other side of Remus, out of Sirius’ reach.

“Let’s go. Transfiguration starts in ten minutes.” said James.

With that they made their way up the stairs. Professor McGonagall was already waiting for them in the classroom. Not taking the chance again, Severus sat in the front row. The other boys made their way to the back of the class like they had done in potions but Remus sat with him.

When everyone was seated, Professor McGonagall started the lesson. She seemed to be stricter than Slughorn. She told them how dangerous transfiguration could be and that they weren’t to mess around in her class.

After what felt like hours, they were given their first task; turning matchsticks into needles. Severus pulled out his wand and took a deep breath, this was going to be the first spell he had ever casted. He focused on the matchstick and said the incantation but nothing happened. He tried a few more times and still couldn’t change it even a little bit. He turned to Remus and saw him struggling as well.

“Why doesn’t it work?” he asked his friend.

Remus shrugged. “I guess it takes some practice.” he answered.

“I like potions better.” said Severus.

“Are you kidding? Potions is worse. If you don’t watch your cauldron it could blow up in your face. Practicing spells is way easier.”

“I guess.” said Severus and turned to his matchstick. He didn’t know what else he could do to make it transform.

The Professor started walking around the classroom to check their work. She began with the girls sitting opposite of Severus and Remus and moved to the back of the class. She complimented Sirius and James who had apparently already finished the task and made her way to the front again.

‘How come Sirius and James could do it?’ thought Severus and looked down at the matchstick. It seemed impossible. The piece of wood didn’t look anything like a needle. It looked more like a worm than anything else. Severus felt his heart skip a bit as the Professor moved closer and tried the spell again. Nothing happened at first but then it moved. Severus’ eyes widened. He had turned the matchstick into a worm!

He panicked when the Professor reached their desk and covered the worm with both hands.

“I need to see your work, Mr. Prince.” said McGonagall impatiently.

Severus swallowed nervously and removed his hands.

“Is that a worm?” asked the Professor in disbelief. “How in the world did you manage to do that?”

Severus bit his lower lip. “I … I was thinking that the matchstick looked like a worm and when I casted the spell, it turned into one.” he explained. “Do you think my wand’s broken?”

McGonagall frowned. “No, I don’t think it is. You just need to practice more.” she said and raised her wand. “I’ll turn it back for you and you can try again.”

“No!” yelped Severus and covered the worm with his hands again. “Please don’t hurt him.”

McGonagall sighed, her features softening. “Alright. Put it on the windowsill and I’ll get you another matchstick.” she said. “For the record, Mr. Prince. I don’t tolerate disrespect in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry.” murmured Severus, not letting go of the worm.

“Go on, then. Put it away and get back to work.”

“Yes, Professor.” said Severus and did as he was told. He casted the spell a few more times without accomplishing anything. When they were dismissed, Severus put his things in his bag and picked up the worm again.

“What are you doing with that?” asked Remus.

“He’s going to be my familiar.” said Severus, grinning.

“You can’t keep a worm for a familiar.”

“Why not? I made it myself.” said Severus and put the worm in his pocket. “His name in Bob.”

Remus chuckled and shook his head. “Bob sounds good.” he agreed.


	7. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heads of Houses and the Headmaster have a meeting about Severus.

Minerva tapped her fingers on the table as they waited for Albus to start the meeting. The old man was looking through a file, stroking his beard. She sighed and took a sip of her tea. Filius, Pamona and Horace looked as anxious as her to get to the bottom of the issue.

She was sipping her second cup of tea, when Albus finally looked up at them.

“So? Did you find anything?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact.” said Albus, sitting a little straighter. “It goes without saying that what I’m about to say shall not under any circumstances leave this room.”

“Of course.” said Filius. “We don’t mean to jeopardize a student’s privacy.”

“Certainly.” agreed Minerva. “We only want to know what’s going on, so that we can help him.”

Pamona and Horace nodded in agreement.

Albus paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “I reached out to a friend of mine in the auror department; Alastor Moody and he was able to give an account of what had happen.” he started. “Severus is in fact Eileen Prince’s son. They both went by the name Snape in the past, since she was married to a muggle man by the name of Tobias Snape. A few years ago, Severus was badly hurt and the aurors got involved.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I don’t know the details my dear, but the case was classified under domestic violence.”

They gasped in union. “You mean to say his parents hurt him?” asked Pamona in horror.

“It was his father. His mother was the one that called the aurors.”

“Should we do something Albus?” asked Minerva. “What if he’s still being abused?”

“I don’t think so. Like I said, his father was the abuser and he’s been sentenced to muggle jail. After what happened, Eileen divorced him and moved out of his house, hence changing their surname to Prince.”

“As disturbing as this is, Albus. It still doesn’t explain why Severus looks and acts younger than his age.” Horace pointed out.

“I can’t say anything with certainty but I think I have the answer to that.”

“Yes?”

“Upon his arrival at St. Mungo’s, Severus was taken to the sixth floor, that is the ward for coma patients. He was in that ward for a little more than three years.”

“Oh, my!” exclaimed Horace. “I suppose it was the right decision, given his young age.” he added thoughtfully.

“Am I missing something?” asked Minerva, looking between the two men.

“There’s a potion that can slow down the aging, almost completely. It’s rarely used since it stops the aging process in body and mind but in this case, I’d say the use was justified.” explained Horace.

“If he was in a coma for three years, that would make him …” Pamona trailed off.

“Eight years old.” finished FIlius, leaning back in his chair.

“Albus, we can’t have an eight-year-old at Hogwarts!” protested Minerva.

“Now, now, my dear. Let’s not be hasty …”

“There’s a reason we only invite the children when they reach elven years of age. Younger children do not have control over their magic; their magic is accidental and thus unpredictable.”

“You’re referring to his transfiguration.” said Albus.

“Yes, I am. He told me he was thinking that the matchstick looked like a worm and then he turned it into one. It was accidental magic, pure and simple.” said Minerva. “The same thing happened in Filius’ class.” she added, giving the charms teacher an expected look.

Filius cleared his throat. “We were working on the levitating spell, of course. He caught on the wand movement and the incantation fairly quickly and managed to move his quill. However, when he saw his classmates’ quills flew a lot higher than his own, he grew frustrated and his quill suddenly jumped to the ceiling like a firecracker.” he explained.

“You are correct, Minerva. He seems to be relying on his accidental magic.” agreed Albus, stroking his beard. “But he did manage to cast the spell the right way at first, did he not?”

“That’s right.” said Filius.

“How does he do in the rest of his classes?”

“He did quite well in my class.” said Pamona. “He’s very attentive and puts a lot of effort in his work.”

“I think Mr. Prince has a real talent for potions. The potion he brewed was perfect in every way.” added Horace.

“But those classes don’t require wand work. He’s unable to keep up with his peers.”

“Not every student is good at all the subjects, Minerva.” reasoned Horace. “I can name a few competent potion Maters that struggle to cast complicated spells and large number of witches and wizards who are unable to brew a simple household potion.” he added with a smirk.

“That’s a good point.” said Albus, raising a hand as Minerva made to protest. “Is he getting along with the other students? Does he have problem fitting in?” he asked.

Minerva sighed. “As far as I can tell, he’s getting along with everyone just fine. He seems to be on good terms with all of his dorm mates and has gotten close with Remus Lupin.” she answered grudgingly.

“Interesting. This friendship could do both of them good.”

“He gets along with the students from other houses as well.” said Horace. “He’s eager to make friends and the other students seem to appreciate his openness.”

“He is a real delight. Brings a lot of joy everywhere he goes.” said Pamona, beaming.

Minerva rolled her eyes. “He’s a good kid but he’s too young to be at Hogwarts. Just because nothing has gone wrong so far doesn’t mean it won’t. We should inform the board of governors and let them make the final decision.”

“Severus is legally eleven years old and he’s here at our invitation. We can’t prove he’s younger, since his hospital records are kept confidential. The only thing we’ll accomplish by talking to the board is spreading rumors about his past and what his father did. For better or worse, he’s under our care and we need to protect him.” said Albus.

“Perhaps you’re right.” murmured Minerva.

“For what it’s worth, I think Severus is a very smart young man. Despite his age, his essays are insightful and to the point.” said Filius. “He might have problem with a few practical subjects but otherwise he’ll do fine.”

“I ask all of you to keep a close eye on him and make sure he doesn’t struggle academically or socially. Let me know if there are any problems.” said Albus and rose from his chair.

“The poor dear.” whispered Pamona to herself. “He should have been sorted in my house.”

“Excuse me?” snapped Minerva.

“No offence Mini, but Gryffindors are not exactly known to be kind to the weak.”

Minerva glared after her but she knew it was true. This year was going to be a long one.


	8. Without Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the full moon and Remus has to leave.

“You’re leaving?” asked Severus, heart-broken. “But … we’re learning magic. I thought you wanted to be a wizard. We’re best friends!”

“I’m going to come back. It’s only for a couple of days.” said Remus soothingly.

“You promise?” whispered Severus. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes, he didn’t want to cry in front of their other roommates.

“Yes, I promise. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Where did you say you were going?” asked Sirius, frowning.

“I’m going home. Need to see my parents.” answered Remus, looking uncomfortable.

“How come you get to go home?” whined Severus, he blinked a few more times. He really missed his mom.

“My mother’s ill. They said I can go visit her.” Remus mumbled, looking at his lap.

“Oh.” said Severus, feeling bad for being so selfish. “I hope your mom’s alright.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I bet she’ll be fine.” said James.

Remus nodded, not looking up. “McGonagall’s waiting for me, I should go.” he said and stood on shaky legs.

Severus stood as well and hugged him tightly. “I’m going to miss you.” he whispered.

Remus hugged him back. He exhaled deeply. “It’ll be over soon. It’s going to be alright.” he murmured. Severus had a feeling he was talking more to himself.

Remus pulled away a few seconds later and took another deep breath. He looked very pale. “I’ve got to go.” he said and hurried away.

Severus stared after him as if glued to the spot, hot tears running down his cheeks.

“Are you crying?” asked James in disgust. “What? You miss your mommy already?”

“No I’m not!” said Severus and whipped at his face.

Peter chuckled. “Remus is his mommy!” he announced gleefully.

“Shut up!” snapped Severus and jumped back on his bed, pulling the curtains. More tears ran down his face as he heard the other boys laugh. 

He reached out and picked up the box sitting on his bedside table. He lifted the lid and took out Bob. His familiar came to life in the palm of his hand and started climbing up his arm. Severus laid down on his side with his back to his roommates. He tuned out their bickering and focused on Bob as he silently cried.

He didn’t know how long it took for him to fall asleep but when he woke up, sunlight was coming in through his curtains and Bob was dosing off on his shoulder. He put the worm carefully in his box and placed him on his bedside table. It was a little later than when he’d normally wake up but everyone was still sleeping. Severus crawled out of bed and did his best to ignore Remus’ empty bed as he made his way to the bathroom. He washed up, brushed his teeth and combed his hair even though he didn’t really feel like doing any of those things. He got dressed and packed his bag as quietly as he could and went down to breakfast all by himself. He drank his milk and played with his oatmeal for a few minutes before walking to the library. It was lonely without Remus.

Most of the tables were empty this early, so Severus picked one for himself by the window and put his things there before walking to the charms section. He sighed when he realized the book he needed was too high up. Remus usually picked up all the books. He took out his wand and stared down at it for a moment before putting it back in his pocket with another sigh. He wasn’t good at doing spells and he didn’t want to damage the library books.

“Need a hand?” asked someone from behind.

Severus turned around and saw Evan standing there, looking amused. He shrugged, not in the mood for the other boy’s condescending attitude.

“What’s with you? You’re always grinning like a monkey.”

“Nothing.” mumbled Severus, scowling.

“Those frown lines don’t go away, you know.” said Evan, smirking. “Fine, be that way.” he added with a huff when Severus kept scowling and turned to the bookshelf.

Severus gasped when the boy picked up the book he had meant to use.

“Problem?” asked Evan, raising an eyebrow.

Severus shook his head and looked down at his hands.

Evan sighed. “We can share if you want.” he said.

Severus’ head snapped up. “Really?” he exclaimed.

Evan chuckled. “Sure. Got a table?”

He nodded and pointed to where he had set his stuff.

“That’s good spot.” commented Evan as they made their way to the table.

Severus smiled at him. “I like sitting next to the window.” he said and picked up his ink and quill.

“You want to tell me why you were sulking?”

“I wasn’t sulking!” snapped Severus. “Why are you talking to me, anyways? You never talk to me outside of class and you don’t wave back at me in the Great Hall.” he accused.

“Someone’s in a mood today.” Evan murmured under his breath. “Fine, we don’t have to talk. Let’s just finish our charms essay.”

They were both quiet after that, but Severus didn’t mind. It was nice to have someone to sit with.

“You’re actually good at this.” said Evan, as he peaked at Severus’ essay.

“Why wouldn’t I be good?”

“Because of what happened in charms. Rumor has it, you almost blew up your quill.”

“I know how charms work. I just can’t do spells that well.” admitted Severus. “I wonder if it has something to do with my wand. McGonagall said it’s not the wand but she could be wrong.”

“Why? Did you break it?”

“No, I didn’t do anything to it!” said Severus in frustration.

“Is it one of Ollivander’s? Did it choose you at the store?”

Severus nodded.

“Then it should be fine.” said Evan.

Severus sighed. “Will I still be a wizard if I can’t do the spells?” he asked, biting his lower lip.

“You have magic, that makes you a wizard.” reasoned Evan. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You’re good at potions. You can always become a potions Master.”

Severus beamed. “You really think I could become a potions Master? Like Slughorn?”

Evan snorted. “Slughorn’s a lazy bastard. You’re going to be a lot better than him.”

“Thanks Evan. You’re really nice. I wish you were my friend.”

“Just because I don’t wave back at you, doesn’t mean we’re not friends. No one waves at Hogwarts. It’s ridiculous.”

“All of my other friends wave back; Alice and Susan and Narcissa …”

“Those are all older girls! They think you’re cute, that’s why they wave.” 

“You don’t talk to me either.” said Severus quietly, playing with his quill. Why was it so hard to make friends?

Evan sighed. “That’s because of Sirius. He’s going to freak out if he finds out we’re friends. He hates everyone in Slytherin.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a brat. He hates his family because they don’t let him do as he pleases and since they’re all in Slytherin, he’s decided to hate Slytherins.”

“How do you know that?”

“We’re cousins. I’ve known him since we were kids.”

“I don’t think he’s that bad. He’s nice to me.”

“He’s all nice and dandy as long as you do as he says but he’ll throw a tantrum every time something doesn’t go his way. If you want him to keep being nice, you shouldn’t get on his bad side. That means you can’t be friends with Slytherins, like me.” explained Evan.

Severus frowned. It all sounded awfully silly. He didn’t care what his other friends thought. “I still want to be friends with you.” he said with determination.

“Alright, then. We’re friends.” conceded Evan. “We’d better go to class or we’ll be late. See you at potions, Severus.”

Severus smiled, feeling triumphant. “See you.” he said and waved at Evan as the boy started to walk away. Evan rolled his eyes and didn’t wave back but that was alright. Severus walked to his defense class with a spring in his step. He didn’t see his friends as he went in, so he sat by himself at the front of the class.

They ran in a few minutes later. All of them looked like they had just rolled out of bed.

“Why the hell didn’t you wake us up?” snapped James when he caught his breath. His hair looked a lot worse than normal.

“You always yell at me when I wake you.” said Severus, defensively.

“We’re dorm mates. We’re supposed to look out for each other. You should have woken us up.” said Sirius.

“We missed breakfast!” added Peter moodily.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d sleep in. From now on, I’ll wake you as soon as I’m up.” promised Severus, feeling bad.

“No, thank you. we don’t want to wake up at four.” said James.

“Just wake us up when you’re going to leave for class, okay?” said Sirius.

“Okay.” agreed Severus.

“Ata boy.” said Sirius and ruffled his hair.

With that they moved to the back of the room. Soon after, the class started and the Professor had them read the chapter on jinxes and curses. As Severus started to take notes, his mind drifted off to what Evan had told him. He wondered whether his roommates would get mad if he forgot to wake them up again. His mother had warned him that some kids could be mean.

He turned and looked at the three boys, sitting in the back of the class. They were passing notes and snickering to themselves. They did that a lot, always whispering to each other and laughing at something. Severus had been spending most of his time with Remus and hadn’t really paid much attention to what the other boys were up to. Perhaps he needed to get to know them better.


	9. The Marauders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus joins James, Sirius and Peter in one of their little adventures.

Severus kept an eye on his roommates throughout their defense class and later in herbology. They seemed to be paying little attention to their teachers and their tasks, instead focusing on making each other snicker. Severus couldn’t understand what the source of their amusement was. They seemed to have developed their own language and shared many inside jokes. That’s why by noon he decided to try a more direct approach.

“What do you guys do every day when classes end?” he asked as they sat at the Gryffindor table for lunch.

Sirius shrugged. “This and that.” he said with a smirk.

“I don’t know what that means.” admitted Severus, looking from Sirius to James and then to Peter. “I never see you after dinner. Where do you go?”

“We go exploring, find something fun to do. That kind of thing.” explained James.

“Are you going today?”

“Of course, we are!”

“Can I come with?”

James winced. “I don’t think so.” he said.

“Why not?”

“Because you’ve got the bedtime of a five year-old.” retorted Sirius. They all snickered. It was getting annoying.

“Not to mention, you have to go to the bathroom every five minutes.” added James.

“I do not!” snapped Severus. “Why don’t you let me come with you? I thought we were supposed to be friends.”

“You only want to come because Remus is gone and you don’t have anyone to hang out with.” accused Peter.

“He’s not gone. He’s coming back.” said Severus, his eyes filling with tears of frustration. He looked down at his plate and started playing with his food. It was lonely without Remus.

Sirius heaved a long suffering sigh. “Let him come this once. It can’t hurt anything.” he said.

Severus’ head shut up. He threw a hopeful look at James.

“Fine, but we’re not going to stop so that you can go to the bathroom or tie your shoe. If you fall back, that’s on you. We don’t need you to slow us down.” lectured James.

It was hard to take him seriously with his unruly hair going in every direction but Severus nodded.

“Now, if you’re done whining, I’ve got to finish my potion essay.” continued James as he took out his book and half written essay.

The other two boys followed suit. Severus watched them work for a couple of minutes before getting back to his food. They usually had Remus helping them out with their work but for some reason they never seemed to ask for his help.

Once they were done, they walked to the dungeon together. Severus was practically jogging, trying to match the pace of the taller boys. He was completely out of breath by the time they reached the potions classroom. He sat next to Evan in his usual seat as the others moved to the back of the class.

“What’s with you? Why are you panting?” asked Evan, giving him a sideway glance.

“Nothing, I just … I had to run all the way down here.” answered Severus as he tried to catch his breath. “I was trying to keep up with James, Sirius and Peter. They all walk very quickly.”

Evan raised an eyebrow. “Any particular reason?”

Severus looked around to make sure no one was listening. “I just realized, I don’t know them that well.” he whispered. “I’m trying to figure out what they do all day.”

“Any luck?”

“Not yet. I think I’m going to make some progress tonight.”

“Good for you.” said Evan approvingly. “You’ve got to know your enemy.”

Severus frowned. “I didn’t say they were my enemy. We’re friends, kind of.”

“Either way, knowledge is power. You can never know too much.”

“You talk funny.” said Severus with a giggle.

Evan sighed. “You’re too jolly for your own good.” he murmured under his breath as he started preparing his ingredients.

Severus giggled again and started on his own potion. They worked in silence like they usually did, comparing their work after every few steps to make sure they didn’t do anything wrong. Severus’ potion always came out a bit better though, since Evan was not as patient with his preparations. 

“Looks like your friends have decided to ditch you.” said Evan as they were both bottling their potions and pointed to James, Sirius and Peter. They were putting their own potion samples on Slughorn’s desk and had their bags already packed.

“That’s really mean! They said I could go with them.”

“You can still catch up.” said Evan and started packing his bag for him.

“What about all the mess?” protested Severus.

“Don’t worry. I’ll clean it up.” said Evan and handed him his bag.

“Thanks, Evan.” said Severus and gave him a quick hug. He put his potion sample on the teacher’s desk and ran after them. “Hey, wait up!” he called but they didn’t slow down.

They had almost reached the grand floor when he finally caught up to them. “Why didn’t you wait?” he rasped.

“We told you we’re not going to slow down for you.” said James.

“You didn’t even tell me you were leaving.”

“You saw us, didn’t you?” retorted James.

“We’re going to badger territory tonight. We’re the only students with a free period and we’ve got to take advantage of it. Have to get there before they’re back from their last class.” explained Sirius.

“You should have told me.”

“We just decided on it. That’s the whole point of being a marauder, you’ve got to learn to live in the moment.”

“Being a what?”

“Keep your voice down. We’re almost there.” snapped James.

They entered a corridor in the basement. There was a large pile of barrels at one side and a picture of a fruit bowl hung on the wall at the other side.

“That’s the entrance to the kitchens.” whispered Peter, following his line of vision. “We still haven’t figured out how to get in.”

“Really? That’s so cool.” exclaimed Severus. It would be really fun to get to see the kitchen. His mother never let him set foot in the bar where she worked and he always wondered what went on in a magical kitchen.

“There’s time for that, later.” said Sirius. “Let’s get started.” he pulled his wand out of his pocket and pointed it at the floor. James and Peter joined him.

“We could make one of those buggers tell us how to get in the kitchens.” said James, grinning.

The three boys started casting a spell in union and the stone floor changed colors, becoming darker and less shiny. Severus was about to step closer to get a better look when he realized he needed to use the bathroom.

“Are you guys going to stay here?” he asked.

Sirius turned to him with a smirk. “You want to go to the bathroom, don’t you?” he chuckled. “Just go, it’s not like you can help with the spell. Remember not to make noise when you come back.”

“Okay.” said Severus and made his way to the boys’ bathroom on the ground floor, since he didn’t know another one in the basement. He did his business as quickly as he could and washed his hands before heading down the stairs again. 

He could hear voices coming from the other end of the corridor where he had left his friends. He crept closer to see what was going on. Two girls and a boy wearing hufflepuff colors were standing in the center, where the Gryffindor boys had been casting their spell earlier.

“Let us go, right now or Professor Sprout is going to hear about this!” snapped one of the girls. James, Sirius and Peter only laughed in response.

Severus felt his breath hitch and his heart started beating very fast. He got closer still and saw that the floor had almost swallowed the hufflepuff students’ feet and that they were stuck where they stood. 

“That’s it!” yelled the hufflepuff boy and hurled himself forward. He fell head first in the gooey floor and now the entire front part of his body was stuck. He struggled to free himself, moving his arms and legs frantically.

Severus’ knees were shaking in terror as his friends’ laughter echoed through the corridor. 

“Severus?” called Sirius, noticing him for the first time. 

He took a few steps backwards.

“What are you doing? Get over here.”

Severus shook his head violently. When he saw the taller boy step towards him, he turned on his heels and ran. He ran all the way up to the Gryffindor tower and didn’t stop until he reached his dorm room. He picked up Bob from his box and hid under his bed, holding his familiar to his chest and praying for Remus to come back.


	10. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is released from the hospital wing only to find his friends fighting.

Remus sat on the bed, wringing his hands nervously as Madam Pomfrey checked him over. The change had been hard this month. He was used to changing in the basement of their house with his parents in the next room and so was the wolf. The wolf had not taken well to the change and the strong smell of human flesh coming from both Hogwarts and Hogsmeade had not helped to get him settled down.

He had been in the infirmary all day, dosing in and out of consciousness as the healing potions coursed through his veins. It didn’t matter if he was asleep or awake, the memories of the full moon kept playing over and over in his head. He could still feel the rage and blood lust, he could hear the sound of his bones cracking as he slammed himself into the walls and smell the pungent adore of his own blood mixed with dust and mold. He needed to get away.

“I think you should stay the night, get a little more rest. I’ll speak to Professor McGonagall and see about canceling your morning classes.” said the healer.

“No, Madam. Please!” pleaded Remus, panic rising in his chest. “I can rest in my dorm. I want to see my friends. Please.”

“Ssshhh, calm down dear.” soothed Pomfrey. “Breath, in and out. That’s it. Do you need a calming draft?”

Remus shook his head. “I just want to go see my friends. I can’t stay here or I’ll go crazy.” he whispered.

Pomfrey sighed. “I’ll let you leave only if you promise to rest. I know how you boys like to roughhouse and run wild. There’ll be none of that, understood?”

“Yes, I promise.” said Remus, hopping down from the bed and picking up his robes.

The healer closed the curtains around his bed to give him some privacy but Remus could still feel her gaze. He put on his robes before she could change her mind and slipped out of the hospital wing. The smell of food coming from the great hall made him stop in his tracks. He walked up to the door and scanned the Gryffindor table with his eyes, but couldn’t see his friends. He stood there for a few seconds, contemplating. He was hungry and for all he knew the others were going to arrive at any moment. They couldn’t have eaten already; Severus ate his food painstakingly slowly. He smiled for the first time that day at the thought of his little friend and moved to sit at the table.

He served himself a hardy portion and put a bit of everything on his fork but couldn’t bring himself to take a bite. He sat there staring at his plate and the images started playing in his head again. Remus stood up abruptly and walked out of the hall, ignoring the way everyone was staring at him. He needed his friends, he needed to hear their voices and laughter, to feel human. He climbed up the stairs, taking two at the time until he reached the dormitory. He opened the door to their room, only to find it was empty. He was about walk out and back to the common room, when he heard a tentative voice calling his name.

“Severus?” he whispered, half sure he had imagined it. “Are you there?”

“Are you alone?” asked Severus. His sound was muffled and was coming from the direction of his bed.

“Yes, I’m alone.” answered Remus and walked closer to the bed. He crouched down and looked underneath. Severus was sitting there, hugging his knees to his chest, his dark eyes shining. “Why are you hiding there?”

He had no time to react as Severus crawled out from under the bed and threw himself in his arms, almost knocking him over.

“What’s wrong, Severus? What happened?” he asked, putting his arms around the smaller boy.

“James, Sirius and Peter. They’re mean.”

Remus pulled back to look Severus in the eyes. Something was very wrong here. “I know they like to joke around a lot. It doesn’t mean anything, you shouldn’t let it bother you.” he said slowly, trying to understand.

“No, I mean really mean. They trap people and then laugh.”

Remus frowned. “Trap people?” he repeated.

“Yes, with magic. And they laugh when they can’t get out.” explained Severus.

Suddenly, the realization downed on Remus. He stiffened. “Did they try anything on you? Did they curse you?” he asked.

“Not me. It was some other kids.”

Remus sighed in relief. “It was probably a joke.” he said.

“It wasn’t funny! It was scary.” protested Severus. “I think they do it all the time. They call themselves the marauders and they …”

The door opened at that moment and their three other roommates walked in. Severus jumped to his feet and took a few steps back.

“Would you cut that out?” snapped Sirius. “Why the hell did you run off like that?”

“I saw what you were doing. It was mean and you were laughing at them.” said Severus accusingly.

“Lighten up! We were just having a bit of fun.” said James.

“Hurting people and laughing at them is not fun! Only mean people do that.”

“We didn’t hurt anyone.” snapped Sirius. “We let them go after a while and sent them on their way.”

“If you want to be a marauder, you have to learn to take a joke.” added Peter.

“I never said I want to be a marauder and if this is what you do all the time, then I don’t want to hang out with you anymore. Right Remus?” said Severus and turned to him.

Remus glopped, all the eyes in the room were turned to him. He looked from Severus’ defiant face to the angry faces of the other three. He hated conflict and was terrified of speaking up. He had barely spoken to anyone other than Severus since he had gotten to Hogwarts. They needed to get along with their roommates. He had to get his friend to back down, he decided.

“If they didn’t really hurt anyone, then maybe you should go easy on them.” he mumbled.

Severus’ eyes widened in shock for a moment, before his features twisted into a scowl. He grabbed a pillow from his bed and ran out of the room, not giving him another glance.

James snorted in disgust. “Look at him, he acts like a four-year old. How he was accepted at Hogwarts, I’ll never know.” he said and sat on his bed carelessly.

“They should just expel him. He can’t even cast a single spell.” Peter chimed in.

Remus threw Peter an angry glare and went after Severus. He found the boy sitting by himself next to the fire. He had put two arm chairs in front of each other and was laying there, propped up against his pillow, staring at his pet worm as it walked on his thigh.

“Did you make yourself a bed?” he asked, smiling a little to lighten the mood.

Severus didn’t look up. “I don’t want to talk to you.” he said, his voice cracking a little.

Remus knelt down on the carpet with a sigh, his bones protesting at the movement. “Listen to me, Severus. We can’t fight with our roommates. We have to get along with them.” he said.

“Why?”

“Because we’re going to have to live with them in the same room for seven years. We can’t afford to be on their bad side.”

Severus finally turned to look at him. The boy studied him for a second. “You’re scared of them.” he whispered.

“There’s three of them and two of us and they’re a lot stronger than we are.”

“They’re mean boys, Remus. They scare me, too but I don’t want to be friends with them.”

“I know they tease and make fun of others but that’s not as bad as you think. There are other people who do things a lot nastier than that.” he tried to explain. “Let’s go back upstairs. You don’t even have to say anything, I’ll talk to them and have it all sorted out and things can go back to normal.”

“No.”

“Don’t be so stubborn, Severus. You can’t stay here forever, you have to go back there and face them.”

“I’m staying here with Bob. You can go if you want.” said Severus and turned his attention back to his worm.

Remus was about to say that Bob wasn’t even real but bit his tongue. The worm started moving whenever Severus touched it but the rest of the time it stayed rigid and motionless just like a matchstick.

“How about we go have dinner?” Remus tried again.

Severus shook his head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” said Remus and got up. He stood there for a moment hopping Severus would budge but turned on his heel and walked back to the dorm when he realized it wasn’t going to happen.

The three boys had gathered on James’ bed and were playing exploding snaps. There were different kinds of sandwiches and cookies scattered around them on the bed.

“Where’s Severus?” asked Sirius.

“Who cares?” murmured James.

“I think he needs some time to cool off.” said Remus, ignoring James and moving to sit on his own bed.

“Hey, you want a sandwich?” asked James. “We found out how to get into the kitchen. The elves practically begged us to take all the food.”

“Sure, thanks.” said Remus.

He picked up a tuna sandwich absentmindedly and ate it in a few bites, not really tasting it. He had done the right thing, he told himself as he picked up another sandwich. He was a werewolf and Severus was as defenseless as a child. They couldn’t afford to make enemies on their very first year.


	11. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus doesn't feel safe in his dorm anymore.

When Severus woke up, the common room was dark, silent and very cold. The fire had burnt out during the night and he hadn’t brought his blanket with him. He sneezed a few times and hugged his knees to his chest to get warm. It reminded him of the winters at Spinner’s End, when there was snow and the house wouldn’t get warm enough. He shivered at the thought of his old home and slowly stood up. He had slept in his robes and now they were wrinkled and untidy. He needed to get his spare robes and his bag from the dorm. Severus sighed in resignation and climbed the stairs to the boys’ dormitory.

He opened the door to the first years’ bedroom slowly and looked around; everyone was still sleeping. Severus stepped inside quietly and closed the door behind him. He put Bob back in his box then picked up his robes and bag. He paused for a moment, contemplating. The thought of taking a warm shower was too tempting and he knew his roommates wouldn’t wake up for a couple of hours. In the end, his need for comfort won over his fear and he went to the bathroom. Once he was done with his shower, he went over his routine and got ready for the day.

The other boys were still sleeping when he got back, so he sat by the fireplace to do his homework. As Severus focused on his work, he started to relax and forget his worries. He finished his herbology essay with ease and put it on the nightstand before moving on to transfiguration. As he reached for his bag to pull out his book, he realized someone was watching him. Severus raised his head slowly and found Sirius sitting up in his bed and looking right at him, the fire casting shadows on his face. He gasped and dropped his book.

When Severus saw the other boy standing up, he hastily took a few steps backwards. He could hear his heart hammering in his chest and his palms got sweaty. He glanced at Remus’ bed but found him fast asleep. Sirius frowned at his reaction, which wasn’t a good sign. Severus retreated farther until his back hit the wall. He stared at the taller boy, trying to figure out what his next move was.

Sirius glared at him for a second before walking to the bathroom and slamming the door behind him. The sound of running water fallowed next. Severus sighed in relief. He grabbed his transfiguration book and bag and ran out of the room. He went to the library first but it was closed, so made his way to the Great Hall. The breakfast tasted extra delicious, perhaps because he had missed dinner the night before, but he was too nervous to eat much. Sirius and the others could come at any moment.

Severus kept one eye at the door as he chewed his food. His worry was for nothing, it turned out. His roommates didn’t show up. He did however spot a familiar face; Evan.

Severus walked over to him as the boy sat down at the Slytherin table. “Hi, Evan. Will you go to the library with me?” he asked with a hopeful smile.

Evan smirked a little. “Alright.” he said and turned back to the table.

Severus stood there watching him, shifting from foot to foot. Evan turned to him a moment later and raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to let me eat breakfast first?”

“Ok.” agreed Severus with a shrug and started down at his toes as he waited.

Evan heaved a long suffering sigh. “Let’s go.” he said and grabbed a toast from his plate before standing up.

“Are you sure? You didn’t eat anything.” protested Severus.

“It’s fine. I don’t eat much breakfast.” said Evan as he bit into his toast.

“You should. It’ll help you learn better in class.”

Evan snorted in response and shook his head. “How did your investigation go last night?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Not good.” said Severus, moodily.

“No? What happened?” inquired Evan as they sat at the table by the window.

Severus looked around to make sure his roommates weren’t around before turning to his friend. “I saw them bullying people.” he said.

“That doesn’t surprise me. Some kids do that, you know.” said Evan. “What happened next?”

“I told Remus, but he doesn’t want to do anything. He says we have to get along with our roommates. So, I told them I don’t want to be friends with them and slept at the common room last night.” explained Severus.

“That kid’s smarter than he looks.” murmured Evan. “You can’t sleep at the common room, Severus. The dorm room is yours as much as it’s theirs. Just because you’re not friends with them, doesn’t mean you can’t use the room.”

“But what if they try something on me?”

“Then you go to your Head of House.” said Evan matter of fact. “You’ve got to stand up for yourself or they’ll walk all over you.”

Severus sighed. That was easier said than done. “I wish I was as big as them or could hex them with my wand.” he said softly. “Do you get along with your roommates?” he asked.

Evan shrugged. “Mulciber and Avery are both idiots. I’m not friends with them but they know better than to mess with me. Everyone knows who my father is.”

“Who’s your father?”

“He’s the heir to the Rosier family. Our family has some power.” answered Evan. “The Prince family is not that powerful but people respect the name. Are you really related to them?” he asked curiously.

“My mom is. I’ve never met any of them.”

“What about your father?”

“He’s muggle. He doesn’t live with us.”

Evan frowned. “You’re a half-blood then. I don’t think your family name will do much.” he said.

“What am I going to do, then?”

“Just because you’re scared of them doesn’t mean you have to show it. They won’t bother you if you don’t show weakness and if they do, you tell McGonagall.”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t look very nice.”

“It doesn’t matter. She’s your Head of House. She’s responsible for you and your dorm mates. You’re supposed to tell her when you have a problem.”

“OK.” agreed Severus, feeling a little better.

They both worked on their essays for a while and then parted ways to get to class. Throughout the day, Severus avoided his roommates as much as possible. It wasn’t that hard in class since he always sat in the front and the other boys at the back. After the morning classes, he ate his lunch with Alice and her friends at the Gryffindor table and was on his way to the library to read up a little for herbology before class when he remembered that he had left his essay on the nightstand back at the dorm.

He didn’t have time to do it again. He considered going to class without his essay but decided against it. Evan was right, he couldn’t avoid going to the dorm forever. Severus gathered his courage and made his way to the Gryffindor tower. He had just walked through the door to their room when he heard the unmistakable sound of Sirius, James and Peter laughing. He stood there as their sounds got closer, telling himself he could do this, but in the last minute caved and ducked into the bathroom.

“Where the hell is Remus? We have to be at herbology in ten minutes.” he heard James complaining. “I’ve still got one foot to finish.”

“I’ve got two!” whined Peter.

“I’m just going to copy from the book.” said Sirius.

“Well, lookie here. The kid left his homework.”

Severus gasped.

“Leave it, James. He’s mad enough at us as it is.”

“Calm down, Siri. I’m just borrowing it.” said James.

Severus heard something crashing to the floor.

“Watch it! You dropped the damn worm.” snapped Sirius.

There was a shuffling noise, followed by swearing. Severus ran out of the bathroom.

“Leave Bob alone!” he yelled.

No one said a word. They were all staring at a spot on the floor right next to Sirius’ foot. Severus looked in that direction, too and felt his heart breaking.

“Bob!” he exclaimed and knelt beside his familiar. The worm had broken in half like a stick. It stayed motionless as Severus pick him up. Tears ran down his face as the realization hit him. Bob was dead. “You … you killed him.” he whispered.

“It was an accident, I swear!” protested Sirius. “I wanted to pick it up but stepped on it by accident.”

“It’s not like it was a real worm, anyway. It was just a moving matchstick.” added James.

A sob escaped Severus’ throat. He pulled his trunk out from under his bed as he cradled Bob to his chest with one hand and started dumping his clothes and books in it.

“What are you doing?” asked Sirius.

Severus ignored him. He closed the trunk and dragged it behind him as he exited the room. He heard the boy call his name a few times but didn’t stop. He made his way to McGonagall’s office as tears ran down his face.

The Professor was arranging a stack of parchment on her desk. She looked up when he went inside, frowning. “Mr. Prince? What is the matter?” she asked in a gentler voice than usual.

“Professor, please let me change my room. I can’t live with those boys anymore.” pleaded Severus, his voice trembling.

“You know I can’t do that. Whatever the problem is, I’m sure we can work it out. Why don’t you sit down and tell me what happened?”

“Please, ma’am! They’re mean boys. They killed my pet.” said Severus between sobs.

“They what?!”

Severus opened his fist and extended his palm, unable to talk anymore. McGonagall stepped closer and studied Bob for a moment. “Is that the worm you transfigured in class?” she asked.

Severus nodded, crying uncontrollably. McGonagall pulled him in a hug and ran her hand up and down his back. Severus clinged onto her.

“Everything’s going to be alright. Let’s get you to the infirmary.” she said.

Severus was too worked up to protest as she picked him up and carried him to the hospital wing. Someone made him drink a potion and he drifted off to sleep, feeling safe.


	12. Little Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minerva takes matters into her own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry I made you wait. I was planning on updating a lot sooner, but didn't find the time. I hope you like this chapter.

Minerva McGonagall was beyond furious. She had learned early on in her career that she could not expect the students to behave like responsible adults. Whether she liked it or not, there were always going to be those who didn't obey the rules or didn't use their full-potential. The students could be awful and sometimes cruel to one another and there would always be fights over the most ridiculous matters. She had to deal with all that every year as part of her job. This however, she could not tolerate. She had not asked to have an eight-year-old in her care but for better or worse the boy was her responsibility. Seeing him helpless and venerable like that had broken her heart and she'd be damned if she let it happen again.

Determined, Minerva summoned the four first year boys who were no doubt the source of Severus’ melt down and drummed her fingers on her desk as she waited. The group arrived together and stood before her. She didn’t say anything for a few minutes, letting them squirm and fidget in worry as she glared down at them.

“What did you do to that boy?” she asked, her Scottish accent showing.

“Severus?” said Remus Lupin, biting his bottom lip. “Did something happen? Is he alright?”

“He is not alright, Mr. Lupin. As for what happened, I’m expecting you to explained that.”

“I haven’t talked to him all day, Professor.” said the boy, looking mournful.

“And the rest of you?” pressed Minerva.

“I don’t know what he told you, ma’am but we didn’t do anything to him.” said James Potter, defiantly.

“He said you killed his pet!” snapped Minerva. Lupin gasped in surprise and turned to glare at the other boys. Black flinched, Pettigrew who had been playing with his robes’ sleeve went still but James seemed unfazed.

“It wasn’t a pet. It was just a charmed matchstick.” he said.

Minerva’s face hardened. She happened to like James. The boy was talented and charming and son to one of her dearest friends. She had never seen this side of him. “Yet, you knew he was keeping it as a pet, did you not?” she snapped.

“It was an accident.” said Black, quietly. “James dropped it on the flour and I went to pick it up. I knew it was important to Severus. I stepped on it by accident. You have to believe me, Professor.”

He seemed sincere and Minerva could hear the regret in his voice. “I believe you, Mr. Black. However, I’m certain that incident was not the only reason for Mr. Prince’s distress. He is the friendliest, most positive student in your year, what did you do to that child to make him this upset?”

Black dropped his head in shame but didn’t say anything. To her surprise, it was the timid werewolf who decided to speak up.

“Last night, when I came back from … my visit home, Severus was hiding under his bed. He said he saw James, Sirius and Peter bullying some students and laughing at them. It really scared him. It was obvious it wasn’t the first time they’ve done something like that.” explained Lupin. “He was mad at me, too because I wouldn’t stand up to them. I just wanted to get along. I never meant to upset him.”

Minerva closed her eyes for a second. Imagining the poor child, scared to the point of hiding from his roommates. She didn’t know much about Severus’ past but she knew enough to understand his reaction. “I’m disappointed in all of you. Mr. Lupin, you are Mr. Prince’s close friend from what I’ve seen and you abandoned him when he need a friend most. And you three.” she added, turning to the other boys. “You’ve been in this school for all of a few weeks and you’ve already made a habit of bullying your peers? I’m appalled! Hogwarts is a place of education. This kind of behavior is not acceptable.”

“It was just a prank. We charmed the floor, so that people would sink in. It was for fun.” protested James.

If this was any other time, Minerva would have been impressed with their work and the amount of effort they had put into learning a spell like that as first years, but the situation being what it was, she couldn’t afford to encourage them. On the contrary, she needed to nip it in the butt, else there would be a repeat performance. “It didn’t seem to be much fun for Mr. Prince and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t fun for the students who suffered through your prank. I’ll be writing to your parents and informing them that if this ever happens again, you’re going to have to seek education elsewhere.” she said.

“You’ll expel us? For playing a joke?! Headmaster Dumbledore won’t allow it.”

“Don’t be so sure young man. As your Head of House, I have every right to expel you if I deem your behavior unsuitable for this school with or without the Headmaster’s blessing. You’ll do well to remember that.” she warned. “Furthermore, the four of you are going to serve detention with Mr. Filtch every Saturday until the end of the term, starting tomorrow.”

A few groans were her only response.

“Now, get back to your class.” she added in the way of dismissing them.

“Professor? Where is Severus?” asked Lupin, when the others left.

“He’s at the hospital wing.”

“Is he hurt?”

“No, he’s not. He was distraught when he came to see me. We gave him a calming draft and a sleeping potion.”

“Can I see him?” he asked nervously.

“After your classes. He needs his rest.” said Minerva. “Now, run along. You’re don’t want to miss more of your class.” she warned and watched him hurry away.

She left the office as well, not able to delay her afternoon classes any longer. She managed to write and mail the letters to Potter, Black and Pettigrew families in her free period and when the last class was done, she locked up her classroom and went to the hospital wing.

Minerva smiled to herself when she saw Severus sitting cross legged on his bed with his nose in a book. He looked peaceful, as if the ordeal hadn’t happened.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Prince?” she asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I feel OK.” he said with a small smile.

“I want you to know, I talked to your roommates. I made it perfectly clear that they’re not allowed to bother you or any other student.” she said, putting a comforting hand on his knee. “You’re still going to have to stay in the dorm with them, that’s just the way it has to be. But there’s no reason to be scared anymore.”

“Who told you I was scared?”

“Mr. Lupin did. He also told me about what your other roommates were up to. He was worried about you. I think he feels sorry about not supporting you before.”

“Really?” asked Severus hopefully.

Minerva nodded. “Poppy said you can go back to your dorm if you want.” she said.

“Can I stay here? Just for tonight?”

Minerva raised an eyebrow. “You’d rather stay in the hospital?” she asked skeptically.

“I like the hospital. It’s safe and warm.”

Minerva reached over and cupped the boy’s cheek, wondering what he had suffered in his short life to consider a hospital room warm. “Just for tonight.” she allowed. The relief in his eyes made her heart ache.

She pulled back when she heard footsteps approaching. It was Remus Lupin. The boy came closer and sat by the bed gingerly. “Severus, I’m sorry.” he whispered.

He didn’t have time to react as Severus pulled him in a fierce hug. Lupin looked taken aback but put his arms around the shorter boy and closed his eyes as if in pain.

Minerva stood and left quietly, praying things would get better for her little lion.


	13. The Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius tries to make things right.

Severus had his breakfast at the hospital; oatmeal and fruits with a tall glass of pumpkin juice. Remus came to see him when he was almost done, only to let him know he was headed to detention with the other boys.

That's why Severus found himself wandering the corridors all alone. The weird thing though was that it wasn't just his roommates that were missing; the entire school seemed deserted. He did see a few students here and there but none of the ones he was friends with. Puzzled and a little worried, Severus decided to ask Professor McGonagall. He checked the staffroom but that was empty, too, so he made his way to the transfiguration teacher's office. 

He sighed in relief when he found her behind her desk, going through a stack of parchment.

"Mr. Prince." greeted the Professor, looking up "Was there something you needed?"

"Where is everybody?" asked Severus.

"Your roommates are serving detention with Mr. Filch this Saturday and every other until the end of term." she replied.

"I know, Remus told me, but ... everyone else is gone, too. I couldn't find any of my friends. Are all of them at detention?" he said, frowning. "But the Professors are gone, too." he paused, thinking hard. "Professors don't get detentions, do they?"

McGonagall didn't say anything at first but then she let out a chuckle which turned into a laugh. Severus blinked at her as she kept laughing. The professor was acting very strange. He had seen her smile before but it was the first time he had seen her laugh like this. Perhaps someone had given her a potion, but that didn't explain the others’ absence. 

"Mr. Prince, your roommates are the only ones serving detention today as far as I'm aware." said McGonagall, once she had regained her composure. "A Hogsmeade visit was scheduled for today. Almost all of the students, third year and up are at the village right now and the Professors are chaperoning. It was announced a week ago and also yesterday at breakfast." she explained.

"Oh." was all Severus could say. He had forgotten all about that and hadn't paid much attention to the announcements the day before. He looked back at the door, at a loss for what to do.

"Was there anything else?"

"I don't know what to do." confessed Severus.

"I'm sure you have plenty of homework to get to."

Severus nodded but didn't move. He didn't have a problem doing homework by himself, but he didn't like being alone. "Can you give me detention, too?" he blurted out.

The Professor's face hardened. "Have you done something to deserve it?" she asked.

Severus' eyes widened. He shook his head hard. He didn't want to get into trouble.

McGonagall chuckled again. "How about you stay here and work on your transfiguration until your friends are back?" she suggested.

Severus sigh in defeat and sat down, taking out his wand.

"I've noticed that you don't focus on your task in class. You need to be patient and put time into your practice in order to master the spells." said McGonagall.

"But everyone else can do it after a few tries!"

"That doesn't matter. You need to focus on your own progress and stop comparing yourself to your classmates." said the Professor. "There's only the two of us here right now. Do your best and that'll be enough." she continued as she stood up and placed a matchstick in front of him. "You can do it Mr. Prince. I am certain of it."

"Ok, I'll try." agreed Severus with another sigh. He took a deep breath and did his best to focus, then casted the spell. He frowned in disappointment when nothing happened.

"Don't give up so soon. Keep practicing." said McGonagall as she got back to her work.

Severus focused harder and kept chanting. He casted the spell again and again. After what felt like his hundredth try, the matchstick suddenly changed colors.

"I did something!" he announced, grinning.

The Professor came over to take a closer look. "The shape hadn't changed but you've managed to change the material. Good job." she praised. "I'm pretty sure your friends are back by now. Why don't you go check?"

"Can I take this to show Remus?" he asked, holding the metal matchstick."

"Yes, that would be all right."

"Thank you Professor!" said Severus. He gave his wand a pat and put it back in his pocket before running for the Gryffindor dormitory.

"Remus look! I did it. I did a spell." he said as soon as he entered the dorm room and rushed over to show him.

"That's great, Severus." said Remus, grinning as he turned the piece of metal in his hands.

"Wow, that's ... not a needle." commented James, leaning closer to get a better look.

"It's close enough." defended Remus.

An awkward silence filled the room as Severus turned to look at the other three boys. He had forgotten that they were going to be there is his excitement.

"Severus, come sit here. I want to talk to you." said Sirius, breaking the silence. "I won't bite." he added when Severus hesitated.

Severus sat on the bed next to the taller boy, a little apprehensive.

"What happened with Bob, it really was an accident." started Sirius. "I know how much it meant to you and I would never hurt him on purpose."

"You hurt other people." Severus interrupted.

Sirius frowned. "We didn't really hurt anyone. It was a prank." he said defensively.

Severus scowled and made to stand up but Sirius grabbed his hand. "I got you something." the boy said and revealed a box he was hiding behind his back.

"What is it?"

"Why don't you look inside and find out."

Severus stared at the box warily, he could see something was moving inside. In the end, his curiosity won over his skepticism and he opened the lead. Bright yellow eyes stared up at him from a fluffy ball of gray hair.

"Meow."

"It's a kitten!" exclaimed Severus, all his reservations forgotten, and picked up the tiny animal. "What's his name?" he asked.

"It's a girl, actually." said Sirius, grinning. "You've got to name her yourself."

Severus' eyes widened. "It's ... It's mine?" he whispered, looking down at the cat curled up in his arms.

"My cousin Andromeda got it. Had to bribe Narcissa to pick it up at Hogsmeade. She only agreed because it was for you." explained Sirius. "Do you like it?"

"She's so soft." breathed Severus, stroking the cat's coat. It made her purr.

"What are you going to call her?" asked Remus.

"I don't know. She's so pretty." whispered Severus.

"Listen, Severus." said Sirius. "I'm your friend. I don't want you to be scared of me, anymore."

Severus looked up, staring the boy. There was something in Sirius' eyes that told him he could be trusted, yet he was still the same person who had bullied those kids. "Will you stop hurting other people?" he asked.

Sirius looked like he was going to protest for a moment. He looked away and didn't say anything for a while. "Alright. If that's what it takes to get things back to normal." he said finally.

"It's not like we can do anything anyways. McGonagall said she'll have us expelled. My mom will kill me if I get expelled." said Peter.

Sirius ignored the other boy. "So, are we good?" he asked Severus.

Severus smiled and nodded his head, turning his attention back to the kitten. He couldn't believe he had a real familiar. "Thank you for the cat. It's the best thing I've ever gotten."

"No problem, kiddo." said Sirius and ruffled his hair, smirking.

Severus couldn't bring himself to get annoyed. He kept smiling as he hugged the cat closer.


	14. Christmas Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets to see his mom after spending months apart.

Christmas was close and Severus could not be happier. It was the first time he had gone this long without seeing his mom and he missed her so much it hurt. He missed sleeping next to her and listening to her stories and he had so much to tell her. They wrote to each other all the time but that wasn’t enough. He wanted to tell her about all of his classes and show her the essays he had written. He wanted to show her how good he had gotten at making potions and brew a salve for her hands. And more importantly, he wanted her to meet his cat; Julie. The kitten was sweet and playful and he knew his mother was going to like her.

That’s why when the last day of term came, Severus was already packed and ready to leave while his roommates ran around frantically and shoved things in their bags. It was in that chaos that James got an owl from his parents.

“This is great!” exclaimed the boy as he read the letter. “My parents say you're all invited over our house on boxing day.” he announced.

“Really? That’s a relief. I thought I was stuck at home for the entire holiday.” said Sirius.

“You could stay longer if you want, Siri. My parents wouldn’t mind.” James told him and turned to the rest of them. “You guys are coming too, right? We’re going to have a lot of fun. We have a quidditch pitch on our grounds, so we can go flying all day and we wouldn’t have to wait until after the break to exchange gifts.”

“I’m in!” said Peter. “An entire day of flying sounds fun.”

“I’m coming, too.” said Remus. “I’ll have to ask my parents but I’m pretty sure they’ll say yes.”

“What about you, Severus?” asked James.

Severus found his insides clench in anxiety. He bit his bottom lip and glanced at Remus for a second before answering. "My mom won't let me come." he said.

"Why not?"

"She wouldn't let me go anywhere by myself."

"This is different. It's at my house and my parents are going to be there."

"She's strict. She'll say no." argued Severus, getting more nervous. His plans for the perfect holiday were already getting ruined.

James frowned. “Don’t worry. We’ll sort it out.” he said and turned back to his packing.

Severus picked up Julie and held her close as he watched his roommates pack. The cat didn’t seem to mind his constant cuddling and relaxed into his arms. He held on to her as they boarded the train and stroked her as his friends started chattering about quidditch and flying, a topic which everyone seemed to be obsessed with, except for him.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Remus whispered to him, noticing his mood. “Is everything alright?”

“I don’t care for quidditch. It’s boring.” Severus whispered back.

“Don’t let James hear you say that.”

“Hear me say what?” James interrupted.

“That quidditch talk is boring.” answered Remus with a sigh.

“Is that so?” said James, turning to him. “Maybe I should uninvite you for boxing day.”

“Really?” asked Severus, hopeful.

James chuckled. “Na, I’d never do that. You’re part of the group.” he said. “There will be some ‘quidditch talk’ but we’ll do other stuff, too.”

Severus sighed, his shoulders slumming.

“How about we play exploding snap?” said Sirius. “While we talk more about quidditch.” he added with a smirk and took a deck of cards out of his bag.

As they started to play, Severus forgot about his worries and focused on the game. He liked exploding snaps. It was the first time he had friends who would play with him. Even though it was a grown up gave, it was still a lot of fun. He even managed to win a few rounds.

Severus fell asleep at some point despite the noise around him and didn’t wake up until they arrived in King’s cross station. He said goodbye to his friends sleepily and looked around for his mother.

He found her standing in a corner with aunt Margaret and ran to her. She knelt down and pulled him in her arms, holding him tight as if she expected him to disappear the moment she let go. Severus hugged her back and breathed in her sent. He could smell her flowery perfume, backed potatoes and chocolate. The hug went on for a few minutes, Severus could tell his mom was crying and started to worry.

"Merlin, Eileen. Let him breath." said aunt Margaret. 

His mother pulled back at last. She whipped the tears from her face and took a deep breath before looking him over.

"Have you been eating properly? Have you been sleeping on time? Do you get on with your classmates? Did you get sick? How are your studies going?" she asked without pausing for answers. "Say something, darling. Let me hear your voice."

"I'm fine, mom. I've missed you." said Severus, giving her a warm smile, hoping it’ll cheer her up.

"You've had your turn, Eileen. Let me take a look at him." said Margaret as she stepped closer.

"I missed you, too aunt Maggie." said Severus as the woman gave him a hug.

"Is that your famous cat?" asked aunt Margaret, glancing behind him.

Severus turned to see Julie standing there, feeling left out. He felt guilty for forgetting about her and picked her up, petting her soft hair. "Isn't she pretty?" he asked, holding her for them to see.

"She sure is." agreed aunt Margaret.

“Excuse me.” said someone from behind them.

They turned to see a middle aged couple standing there. James was with them.

“I am Fleamont Potter and this is my wife Euphemia. We are James’ parents.” Introduced the man, who looked a lot like James. “You must be Severus’ mother, Ms. Prince.”

“That’s right. It’s good to meet you Mr. Potter. I hear our sons are good friends.” said Eileen, smiling politely.

"I hear the same thing.” said Mr. Potter. “We’ve invited all of James’ friends to our house for boxing day, your son included. Severus here was worried that you wouldn’t allow him to come. We wanted to assure you that it’ll be only my wife and I and the boys and we will be watching them the entire time. Isn’t that right, dear?”

Mrs. Potter who had been smiling adoring down at him startled a little at being addressed. “Yes, of course. It’ll be good for the boys to see each other over the break. I know James gets restless attending events and parties the entire holiday.” she said.

Eileen gave Severus a questioning look before turning to the Potters. "That'll be alright. As long as you keep an eye on them I don’t see any reason to disagree." she told them.

The adults talked a bit more before saying their goodbyes. Severus was starting to feel nervous again. He didn’t see any way he could get out of the visit now.

"Something wrong, darling?" asked his mother when the Potters left. “It seems like you don’t want to go. You know, I'll be working that day anyways. I only have a two-day break, Christmas and the day before that. You’ll get bored if you don’t go.”

“But …” Severus tried to come up with an excuse but couldn’t think of one. "James said we'd be exchanging gifts."

He regretted saying it the moment the words came out of his mouth. He saw the realization dawning on his mothers’ face and then her expression turned guilty and defeated. It was no secret to him that they didn’t have enough money to spend on things like gifts but Eileen had always done her best to shield him from the truth.

"Is that all you're worried about?" said aunt Margaret. "Tell you what, we're going to bake a big batch of cookies together and you can give each of your friends a box full. How does that sound?"

Eileen threw her a grateful look. “You’re sure it won’t be too much trouble?” she asked.

“Why would it be? You know how much I like baking and it’ll give me an excuse to spend time with your imp.” said Margaret. “What do you say Severus?”

"You think they'll like it?"

"Of course they will! All kids love cookies and mine are the best they'll ever taste."

Severus grinned. He felt a big weight off of his shoulders.


	15. Christmas Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus spends the day before Christmas with his mother and aunt Margaret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys had to wait a long time for this chapter. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I'll try to do better for the coming chapters, pinky promise. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think.

Severus hadn’t expected to miss Hogwarts during the Christmas break but he did a little bit. At Hogwarts he was free to roam the enormous castle and the grounds and pretty much do as he pleased but here at home they had different rules, the most important one being, he was not allowed to leave their room without his mother. Which meant he had been trapped in the small space since the start of the holiday and for the most part, he was alone.

Severus did like their room. It was a down size from their two story house in Spinner’s End but it was also a lot more peaceful. And it wasn’t really so bad when his mother had more free time. Christmas was a busy time at the pub and the customers were a lot more generous with their tips, which meant Eileen was working around the clock. According to her it was going to make her two-day break a lot more special. Severus was not sure whether that was true or not but when the day finally arrived, he was beyond excited.

That morning, he woke up as the sun light entered their room through the large window. He jumped out of bed and looked around for his mother, only to discover she was still asleep. He went over to her bed and stared down at her. She always woke up before he did to get ready for work, but it looked like she hadn’t put on an alarm today. Severus frowned as he tried to decide whether he should wake her or not. In the end, he decided to let her sleep in. As much as he wanted to have her all to himself, he thought she deserved a few more hours of sleep after all that work.

Julie didn’t seem to be on the same train of thoughts. She jumped on Eileen’s bed and made to sit on her head. Severus snatched her away.

“You can’t do that. You’re going to wake her up.” he whispered to her.

Julie mewed loudly, uncaring. Severus bit his bottom lip when he saw his mother stir in her sleep. He stepped away as far as he could in the small space.

“Will you be quiet for me?” he asked, to which Julie mewed louder.

Severus sighed. Julie was only a small kitten and he couldn’t expect her to behave. He opened the door and stepped into the hallway. He knocked on the door next to theirs but nobody answered. Looked like aunt Margaret was sleeping in, too.

“I guess we could sit here. Hang on.” he put the kitten down and walked back inside. He picked up a bag of crackers and a bowl full of cat food along with his old ball before going back outside.

Julie perked up at the sight of the ball and started to play with it. The ball was shinny and it seemed to excite her. She would poke it with her paws and run after it when it rolled away. Severus sat against the wall and munched on crackers as he watched her play, giggling to himself at her silliness.

The kitten tired herself out after a while and perched on his lap. Severus held her and started stroking her soft coat as she dozed. He was close to falling asleep himself when suddenly the door to their room opened, making him jump.

His mother stepped out in her night gown, the lines of her face drawn in worry. “Severus! What are you doing outside? You know you’re not allowed out on your own.” she said and reached for his hand to help him to his feet. “And you shouldn’t sit on the cold floor like that, you’d get sick.” she continued, looking him over. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself, young man?”

“Julie was being loud. I didn’t want her to wake you. I thought it would be alright to come out since no one else is here today.” he explained.

Eileen sighed. “You should have woken me up.” she murmured, rubbing at her face in exasperation.

“I didn’t want to. You’ve been working hard, you needed your rest.”

Eileen chuckled and shook her head. “Sometimes I wonder if you were born an old man.” she said and knocked at aunt Margaret’s door.

“I’ve already done that. I think she’s sleeping, too.” said Severus.

His mother gave him a side along glance before opening the door and stepping inside. Severus stood just outside the threshold, not sure if he was allowed in or not.

“Maggie, wake up.” whispered his mother, shaking the older woman’s shoulder.

“What time is it?” murmured Margaret, sleepily.

“I don’t know but it’s late.”

“Aunt Maggie, can Julie and I come in?” asked Severus, growing impatient.

“Of course, dear. Come on in.” the woman called back.

Severus walked inside, grinning. It was the first time he had seen inside Margaret’s room. It looked pretty much the same as theirs, except there was only one bed and there was a bedside table. He walked up to the window and looked outside.

“Your window looks the other way.” he commented. “You can’t see the Alley from here.”

“That’s right. Diagon Alley is a lot more exciting, but it’s more crowded, too. I prefer the quiet to be honest.” said Margaret as pulled her hair in a bun.

“Are those all people’s houses?”

“Most of them are. There are a few shops there as well.”

“If this many people live here, how come I’ve never seen any kids around?” asked Severus, frowning.

“They usually play in the park back there.” answered Margaret, pointing to a spot where a few tall trees could be seen.

“There’s a park?!” exclaimed Severus, craning his neck to see more. “There was a park in our neighborhood when we lived at Spinner’s End, but I wasn’t allowed to go by myself and no one ever took me.”

His statement was met with silence. He turned around to see his mother’s face had paled a bit. She smiled at him, even though her eye were sad. “I could take you tomorrow, it’ll be cold but we can have a picnic if you want.” she said in a cheerful voice.

“That sounds great! Thanks, mom.” said Severus, hugging his mother in an attempt to make her feel better.

“Let’s go put on something warmer before we go down for brunch.”

“What’s brunch?” asked Severus as he followed his mother.

“It’s breakfast for lazy people.” murmured Eileen as they entered their own room. “It means eating breakfast and lunch in one sitting.” she explained as she picked out a sweater and a pair of pants for him to wear. 

“What do people have for brunch?”

“Eggs, pastries, sandwiches, juice and whatever else they feel like having. We’re going to heat up some left overs since it’s too late to cook.” answered Eileen.

“But you’re going to cook dinner, right?” asked Severus. He always had leftovers from the pub and it was fine. Their Christmas dinner had to be special, though.

“Yes, I’ll make the dinner from scratch.” said Eileen.

They both put on warm clothes and got ready for the day, then waited for Margaret for a few minutes before going down the stairs together. Severus was bouncing with excitement. They reached the foot of the stairs and instead of going through the door that opened to the outside like they usually did, they walked into the one opposite which led to the pub’s dining area.

“Wow. It’s bigger than I thought.” said Severus. He put Julie’s litter box in a corner and started to look around, trying to soak up everything. One of the walls held a large fire place and a couple of comfy looking couches. In the middle, there were about twenty tables covered with blue and green checker clothes. Each table had a menu and a set of colorful sauce bottles and salt and pepper shakers. He chose a table in the center and read through the menu as his mother and aunt Margaret prepared the food.

His mother took the menu gently out of his hands and put a dish loaded with mashed potatoes, beans and chicken in front of him. There was also pumpkin juice and a plate of cinnamon bun on the table.

“I don’t think I can eat all of it.” he said.

“Give it your best try. We can go make cookies when you’re done.” said Margaret with a wink.

“What kind are we making?”

“Pumpkin and chocolate chips.”

“I like chocolate chip cookies.”

“Then you better start eating before your food gets cold.” his mother cut in.

Severus sighed and picked up his fork. He focused on eating while the two adults talked. The mountain of food started to disappear rather quickly. His mother vanished the dishes to the kitchen with a wave of her wand and cleaned the table clothes with another.

“Alright then, let’s go.” announced Eileen and led him to a small back door he hadn’t noticed was there.

The kitchen was a lot bigger than the one in their old house. There were afew ovens and stove tops and a large pantry. Pots and pans were dangling midair and there was a display of knives on one of the walls. Severus stepped closer and reached to pick up the biggest one, but a gasp from his mother stopped him.

“You can’t touch the knives, Severus or anything that could burn you.” she scolded.

“But … I make potions all the time! I cut all of my ingredients and put my cauldron on a flame.” protested Severus. “My potions always turn out better than everybody else’s.”

“I don’t care what you do or don’t do at school. At our home eight year old boys are not allowed to use knifes or work with flames.”

Severus scowled and crossed his arms. “I’m going to be nine in a few days.”

“I know, darling.” said his mother with a smile and gave him a kiss on the chick.

“You said I could help with baking.”

“There’s still plenty for you to do.” said Margaret, who had been putting the ingredients on the counter while they argued. “You’re going to help me with measuring and mixing.” she added as she picked him up and put him on a stool. “Do you want to be in charge of the wet or the dry?”

Severus sighed and looked at the ingredients for a second. “Wet.” he decided.

Margaret placed a piece of parchment with the instructions between them and started measuring the flour. Julie hopped on the table as well and started sniffing everything.

“What about you, mom?” asked Severus.

“I’m going to start on dinner. I’m making ham with roasted potatoes and vegetables.”

“Sounds good.” murmured Severus as he picked up a measuring cup and read through the recipe.

Making cookies turned out to be a lot more fun than he had imagined, even though there was no cutting or crushing involved. Unlike the potion making, every one of their ingredients smelled amazing and mixing them make it smell even better. They mixed the wet ingredients with the dry and fromed the cookies on trays, which they then put in the oven. They had to bake the cookies in batches, since they only had two ovens and a dozen trays. By the time all the cookies had cooled dinner was ready.

They ate at one of the tables and then moved to the fireplace with hot coco and freshly baked cookies. Severus fell sleep leaning into his mother’s side. It was the best they of his life.


	16. The Potters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus spends boxing day at the Potters' house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. It took me a while to write this chapter. I haven't been feeling my best lately and as much as I enjoy writing about little Severus I didn't feel up to it.
> 
> A few weeks back I had to go to the dentist. They performed root canal on one of my teeth and pulled out the wisdom tooth next to it in one session. (I think because of the coronavirus they didn't want me to go in for multiple sessions). Both of those things cause a good amount of bleeding. Also, my wisdom teeth are very deep and the bleeding doesn't stop right away for me. To top it off I got my period right after. A couple of days later, I started to feel very sick and it only got worse. It turned out that my iron level was low. I've been taking a supplement for a few days now and feel a lot better. So everything's fine.
> 
> I hope you guys are doing OK. Please take the coronavirus seriously and be as careful as you can be and stay home if you're able to. No matter where in the world you live, remember we're all in this together. Be safe.

After Christmas the pub was once more filled with customers, which meant Severus’ mother had to go back to work. It was a relief that Severus was invited to spend the day at the Potters’, otherwise he would have felt too lonely.

That morning after breakfast, Severus dressed in the new clothes he had gotten for Christmas and sat waiting. The only fireplace with a floo connection was at the pub’s dining area and mother didn’t want him to go downstairs while the place was too crowded. He didn’t understand why Eileen was so concerned with the idea of him going in the pub but he knew it had something to do with what happened to him almost four years ago. Before that, his mother hadn’t been half as strict as she was now.

He wondered what things would be like if his mother let him go down from time to time. He could work in the kitchen with Aunt Maggie, preparing food and drinks or perhaps help his mother serve the tables and wipe them clean when the customers were done. He frowned as he realized he was too short to do most of those things. Mother always told him he was going to become tall enough to loom over her one day but Severus didn’t know how long he needed to wait for that to happen. 

Minutes passed by as he sat there waiting for the morning rush to pass. His thoughts turned to the upcoming visit. It was the first time he was going to a friend’s house. James’ parent had seemed nice at the train station. The family had earned their fortune brewing potions according to Eileen. Perhaps they could help him invent a potion that’ll make him grow faster. It would probably cost a lot of money though.

Severus was lost in thought when his mother opened the door, looking out of breath as if she had run the whole way up.

“Come on, Severus. Time to go.” she announced.

Severus didn’t waste any time. He grabbed his bag, patted Julie goodbye and followed his mother downstairs. He glanced curiously at the few customers that were sitting around the pub as they made their way to the fireplace. His mother handed him some floo powder and kissed him goodbye. Severus hesitated for a moment before throwing the powder into the fire and braced himself as he stepped into the green flames. He came out of the other end on his hands and knees, the world swimming around him. Staying where he was, Severus waited for the sensation to pass.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” asked a feminine voice.

Severus looked up to see Mrs. Potter crouching beside him. “I don’t like flooing” he murmured.

Mrs. Potter smiled and helped him to his feet. “Me neither. It always ruins my clothes.” she said and waved her wand at him to get rid of the soot on his clothes. “There, all better. It’s Severus, isn’t it? I’m glad you could make it. Let’s get you to James’ room. Everyone else is already there.” she continued as she guided him out of the sitting room and up the stairs.

“I’m sorry I’m late. My mother was busy this morning.” said Severus as he tried to match Mr. Potter’s brisk pace.

“That’s alright, love. You have the rest of the day to spend with your friends.”

“Your house is really beautiful.” commented Severus. It was true. The house was big and spacious like Hogwarts but had a fancier look and feel to it. It almost made him feel out of place.

“Thank you. We’ve just gotten it redecorated. I can’t say I’m happy with all of the designer’s choices but I’m sure with a few tweaks here and there it’ll become perfect.”

Severus didn’t know what to say to that so he stayed quiet as they entered a hallway and stopped in front of one of the doors.

“James, honey, Severus is here.” called Mr. Potter as she knocked.

The door was opened by an overexcited James. “Finally! Come in Severus.” he said, stepping aside to let him in.

“Have fun boys. Remember to come down on time for lunch.” said Mr. Potter.

“Ok, mom.” murmured James, closing the door.

“This is your room?” asked Severus. It looked as fancy and spacious as the rest of the house.

“Yeah. I’ll show you around later.” answered James and dragged him to the other side of the room where Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting together on a circular carpet.

Severus grinned at his friends. He had really missed them. “Merry Christmas!” he said.

James pushed him down to sit on the carpet. “Time for that later. We want to open our presents.” he said and sat next to Sirius.

Severus noticed there was a small pile of presents in front of each person. He reached into his bag and took out his own, handing them to the other boys. Not touching the wrapped gift in front of him, he anxiously watched his friends.

“Is this a book?” asked James, making a face.

Severus shook his head no.

“What is it then?” wondered James as he ripped the wrapping paper and opened the box. “It’s cookies.” he announced and inhaled, taking in the smell. “They smell delicious.”

“Cookies?” asked Peter eagerly. He left the present he was unwrapping and reached for Severus’. He opened the box and bit into one of the cookies. “Hmmm, it’s good. What flavor is that?”

“That one’s pumpkin and the other ones are chocolate chip.” explained Severus.

“Let me taste.” said Sirius and reached for Peter’s box.

“You’ve got your own.” protested Peter, hiding the box behind his back. “Where did you get them?” he asked Severus. It was the first time the boy was paying him this much attention. They had barely talked to one another up to this point.

“We baked them at home.” answered Severus.

Peter grinned at him. “We do that, too. My mom loves baking.” he said.

Sirius suddenly burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny about that?” snapped Peter, defensively.

“Nothing, I was just… I was imagining my mother baking cookies.” said Sirius between giggles.

No one said anything for a second. James shifted uncomfortably where he sat and Peter shoved another cookie in his mouth while Sirius kept laughing.

“My mom isn’t much of a cook either. I’ll share these with her.” said Remus, trying to lighten the mood. “How about you guys open mine next?” he added with a nervous smile.

They complied, finding a pair of mittens each. James’ and Peter’s had snitches on them. Sirius’ had a dog and Severus’ had a shaggy looking gray cat.

“It looks just like Julie!” exclaimed Severus.

“It’s probably not going to fit you. I had to get them all the same size.” said Remus, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s Ok. I love it.” said Severus, giving Remus a hug.

They went back to opening the rest of their presents. Peter had gotten them chocolate frogs, which he proclaimed to be the best wizarding candy. James’ gifts were glowing quitdditch posters. The one for Severus was from the British national team, since he didn’t have a favorite team. Sirius had bought fancy stationary for everyone. They looked like something an old business man would use.

Once they were done, James went through his drawers to find a deck of cards. Severus took the opportunity to look around the room. James had more stuff in his room than Severus, his mother and aunt Margaret put together.

One shelf caught Severus’ attention. It was filled with all types of toys, ones that he had never seen in his life. “Are these all yours?” he asked in awe.

James blushed. “They’re old. I don’t play with them or anything. My mom wants me to keep them for some reason.” he said dismissively and started dealing the cards as everyone gathered on the carpet again.

Severus longed to touch the toys and play with them but restrained himself. He couldn’t help feeling envious though. Growing up he had only had a couple of toys and none of them were magical. The feeling stayed with him as they played exploding snaps and later when they maneuvered their way to the dinning room.

Mrs. Potter had roasted a whole goose. She cut it up and served each of them a hearty portion. Severus stayed quiet as the other boys started talking about their holiday and everything they had been up to.

“What about you Severus? How was your Christmas?” asked Mr. Potter with an encouraging smile, noticing his silence.

“I, err…” he cleared his throat nervously. It had been a fun day but nothing like the others’ Christmas. “My mom taught me how to play gobstone.” he said quietly.

“That sounds like fun.” commented Mrs. Potter.

Severus shrugged. “We couldn’t play properly because my cat kept running after the marbles.” he admitted.

Everyone laughed, making him feel less awkward.

“That’s for the best. Gobstone sure is great but you need to focus on quidditch.” Mr. Potter told him.

Mrs. Potter rolled her eyes. “Here we go, again.” she murmured under her breath.

“Severus doesn’t care for quidditch.” James informed his father. “He says it’s boring.”

“He’ll change his tone when he gets on Gryffindor quidditch team.”

James snorted. “He practically weighs nothing. All quidditch players are muscular.” he said matter of fact.

“That’s where you’re wrong, son. Players with slighter frames are perfect as seekers. Seekers don’t need to be as muscular as the other players since they don’t have to swing a bat or pass the quaffle around. First and foremost, they need to be quick. And light weight equals speed.” 

James frowned in thought. “He’s not good on a broom.” he said.

“Then we’ll need to whip him into shape.”

Both father and son turned to Severus, matching expressions of determination written on their faces.

“What do you say young man, ready for a challenge?” asked Mr. Potter.

Severus looked around the table. Mrs. Potter sighed and shook her head but Sirius, Peter and Remus were all leaning forward eagerly, waiting for his answer.

“I’ll do my best.” said Severus finally.

“That’s the spirit!” said Mr. Potter. “We’ll go to the pitch as soon as we’re done eating. You better polish your plate. You’re going to need the energy.” he added, looking pointedly at Severus’ half eaten food.

Severus gave the man a small smile and ate his lunch with gusto. He didn’t really like flying much but Mr. Potter’s attention filled him with warmth and he didn’t want the sensation to go away.


	17. Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets a flying lesson from Mr. Potter.

After lunch they all headed to the quidditch pitch, only Mrs. Potter staying behind. The house was just as extravagant from outside as it was inside. The walls were covered in white marble tiles which shone in the afternoon light. They rounded the building and found themselves in an open field. It was not as large as Hogwarts’ quidditch pitch but large enough. There was a shed in the corner which held a few broomsticks and other flying gear.

Severus watched Sirius, Peter and Remus admire the Potter's broom collection as James talked about the story behind each one, a hint of pride in his voice. Some of the brooms were worn out while others looked brand new. Either way, they all seemed to be in good condition. The boys started comparing the brooms side by side, trying to decide which one to pick. Severus shrugged and reached for the one closest to him. It was made from dark wood, just like his wand, and felt quite hefty.

"No. No, that's not right." said Mr. Potter who had been standing to a side, letting his son take the lead. "You need something lighter and not quite as fast since you're just beginning." he continued as he took the broom out of Severus’ hand and extended it to Sirius. "Switch with him, would you, lad?"

Sirius took a moment to consider, then nodded and gave Severus the broom he had picked. This one was significantly lighter but didn't look as polished.

"Everyone got their broom? Good, let's moved to the field." said Mr. Potter. "You go first Severus. Show us what you've got."

"Um, okay." mumbled Severus, feeling a little self-conscious. He put the broom down on the grass and held his hand above it. "Up!" he said firmly.

The broom jumped into his palm, making him smile. Severus held the broom in front of him and mounted it, shifting his weight to get more comfortable. Next, he planted his feet on the ground and counted to three in his head before pushing off of the ground with all of his strength and lunching into the air. He took a second to get his bearings, then griped the handle and moved in a circle around the field, careful not to lose his balance. In the end he landed gingerly and hoped off of the broom, looking at Mr. Potter expectedly.

"You know the basics, that's good." praised the man. "Your movements don't look natural though."

"It's not natural for people to fly." said Severus with a raised eyebrow.

Mr. Potter chuckled. "Perhaps not but once you become one with the broom, it’ll be as natural as walking." he said, then turned to his son. "James, show him how it's done."

James smirked. He jumped on his broom and zoomed about the field effortlessly, his friends watching him in awe.

"I don't think I can fly like that." said Severus, looking down at his broom skeptically.

"James has been flying since he was a small tyke. I bought him his first toy broom when he was one years old." said Mr. Potter, a fond smile on his lips. "If I could teach a one-year old how to ride a broom, I can teach you, too. We'll just need to break it down. Let's start at the beginning. Your mounting needs some work. A quidditch player should get on his broom in a flash, specially a seeker.” he continued in a sterner tone. “Instead of grabbing the handle first and then swinging your leg over the broom, try reaching with your right hand and right leg at the same time."

"What if I fall?"

"Then I'll catch you." said Mr. Potter confidently and Severus believed him. He tried moving his arm and leg at the same time and almost managed, slipping over the broom.

"See? Already much better. Do it again!"

Severus complied, mounting the broom again and again. Every time, Mr. Potter had a smile and words of encouragements for him. It made the warm feeling in him intensify, satisfying a craving he didn’t know he had.

By the time Mr. Potter was happy with his mounting technic, the other boys had left them in favor of flaying at the other side of the field, chasing each other and laughing. Severus didn’t mind. The man’s attention was entirely focused on him now and it made the flying practice more special. The next lesson was jumping off of the ground with ease. Afterwards they practiced getting on the broom and launching into the air in one go. Just when they were about to move on to the actual flying, the sky started to darken.

“That’s enough for today. Good job” said Mr. Potter, patting him on the back.

“Can’t we practice a little longer?” asked Severus, his stomach twisting in disappointment.

“I’m afraid not. My wife won’t be happy with me if I have you flying in the dark.” answered Mr. Potter and called for the other boys to get down.

Severus shuffled his feet as they made their way to the shed and sighed as he put the broom back on the shelf.

“Why don’t you take that broom home with you, lad? You can practice what you learned and the next time you come over I’ll teach you the rest.” offered Mr. Potter kindly.

Severus shook his head. “I can’t practice at home. Our house is too small and we don’t have a yard.” he said. “I’ll practice more when we get to the school.” he added with another sigh. It wouldn’t be any fun practicing on his own.

Mr. Potter frowned but didn’t say anything as they made their way back inside. He left them in the living room with his wife and then disappeared out the door.

There was tea and finger sandwiches waiting for them in the sitting area. Mrs. Potter casted a few cleaning spells on them before they sat, mumbling under her breath about dirt and her absentminded husband.

Severus sat there quietly as his friends chattered excitedly around him. Even though he was hungry, he didn’t feel like eating. His heart was filled with loss and envy. It was the last time he was coming to the Potters’ house, he vowed himself.

After what felt like hours, Mrs. Potter sent Severus, Remus and Peter to get their things from James’ room. then lined them in front of the fire place so that they could floo home. Peter was first. Mrs. Potter hugged him and gave him a parcel filled with the left over finger sandwiches. The boy blushed and hugged her back before waving to the rest of them and stepping into the flames.

It was Severus’ turn next. He grabbed a handful of the floo powder from the box Mrs. Potter was holding out but shied away as she reached to hug him goodbye.

“Is everything alright, honey?” asked Mr. Potter, gently pushing his hair out of his eyes.

Severus nodded mutely, not trusting himself to speak.

“Do you feel sick?” she pressed as she put a hand on his forehead.

Severus shook his head and bit his lip to keep the tears at bay.

“Are you sure, dear? You look pale.”

Severus bit his lip again and was wondering how to deter her without breaking down into tears when the door suddenly burst open and Mr. Potter rushed inside.

“Oh, good. You’re still here!” he said cheerfully. “I looked for this everywhere.” he added, holding a thick book in his hands.

“I wondered where you ran off to.” said Mrs. Potter. “Is that another quidditch book?” she asked with raised brows.

“Yep!” answered Mr. Potter with a grin. “It’s for Severus. Now that he’s set out to be the best seeker Hogwarts has ever seen, he needs to learn more about flying techniques.” he continued as he handed Severus the book.

Severus smiled in spite of himself and accepted the book.

“I want you to read the first chapter and write me a summary.”

“Really Fleamont? You’re giving him homework?” asked Mrs. Potter, a note of exasperation in her voice. “I’m sure he has plenty of work to complete for school.”

“I’ve finished all of my holiday homework.” protested Severus, holding the book to his chest.

“Already?!” exclaimed James and Remus in union.

Severus shrugged. “I was bored.” he said as a way of explanation.

Sirius snorted. “He always has an excuse for finishing his homework early.” he teased.

“Alright then. Owl me your summary as soon as it’s over and ask me any questions you have and then we’ll move on to next chapter.” Mr. Potter told him.

Severus nodded. “Thanks, Mr. Potter.” he said as he put the book in his bag. “You too, Mrs. Potter. I had a nice time.”

“You’re welcome, honey.” said Mrs. Potter.

Severus let her hug him this time and smiled at Mr. Potter as he patted him on the shoulder. He said goodbye to his friends and flooed to the pub. His mother was waiting for him at the other end and caught him before he could fall.

She led him upstairs and listened to him as he told her everything he had done that day. He felt guilty for being jealous of James and his family earlier. He had a mother who loved him and was always there for him and that should be enough.


	18. The Muggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus rides back to Hogwarts with his friends.

Severus hung the poster James had given him for Christmas above his bed. The quidditch players in the picture grinned and waved at him every time he looked at it. He didn’t know which one of them was the seeker but chose to think it was the guy on the far left who was a little shorter than the others. 

As he read the book Mr. Potter had given him, Severus imagined himself flying on the broom with his team mates. It made him feel less lonely while he spent the last days of the Christmas break mostly on his own. Never the less, he was eager to see his friends once it was time to go back to Hogwarts.

His mother took him to the station. The platform nine and three quarters was as busy as ever. Severus scanned the crowd for James and his parents, hoping to get a chance to talk to Mr. Potter.

“Looking for someone?” asked Eileen, raising an eyebrow.

Severus hesitated. Somehow he knew it would upset her if he told her the truth. “Want to find my friends.” he answered quietly.

“I’m sure you could find them on the train.” said his mother, she too started to look around the crowded platform. She gasped a moment later, her eyes locked to a far corner.

“Mom?” whispered Severus, trying to figure out what she was staring at.

Eileen’s black eyes met his. Severus couldn’t read the emotion in them. “I know those people.” she said. “The Evans family. I thought they were muggle.”

Severus looked back at the crowd. He could see a girl with bright red hair. “That’s Lily Evans. She’s in my class.” he explained.

“Is she your friend?”

“Not really. She’s friends with the other girls.”

His mother sighed in relief. “Is their older daughter a witch also?” she asked.

“I don’t think so.” answered Severus, confused. “Is everything alright, mom?”

“Yes, darling everything’s fine. I wasn’t expecting to see them here is all.” she said.

“Do you know them from Cokeworth? Do they know about my accident?” he asked.

“You don’t need to worry about that. They’re just muggles. It doesn’t matter what they know.”

“Maybe we should go talk to them.” Severus insisted.

“No. You need to get on the train and I’ve got to get back to work.”

“But …”

“No buts, Severus. We have a different life now. The past has to stay in the past. Do you understand?” said his mother sternly.

Severus nodded. Even though he didn’t understand. His mother acted like none of it had ever existed; the river, their house, the mill, his father. As if it all had been a bad dream. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in a hug, seeking comfort.

She held him for a few minutes and stroked his hair, then pulled back to look him in the eye. “I love you, Severus. We have each other. That’s all that matters.”

“I love you, too, mom.”

“Go on. I don’t want you to miss the train.” said his mother. “Write to me as soon as you can.”

“I will.” promised Severus. He put his backpack over his shoulder and picked up Julie before turning on his heels and walking up to the train. He turned back before climbing the steps and wave to his mom, who waved back and then apparated away.

Severus stared at the spot she had been standing for a moment and then glanced at where Lily and her parents were saying their goodbyes. He didn’t remember ever seeing them before but there were other things he couldn’t remember either, like how he had injured his head. Suddenly, Lily’s mother turned to look at him, probably sensing she was being watched. Severus got on the train hastily before she could take a good look and searched the compartments until he found his friends.

“What’s with you? You look like you’ve been chased by a ghost.” said Sirius. He was sprawled on a bench, looking through a quidditch magazine with James and Peter.

“Nothing.” murmured Severus as he sat next to Remus on the other bench. The boy was dozing with his head against the window and his mouth slightly open. He looked pale and worn out.

“Is he sick again?” Severus asked quietly, careful not to wake him.

“I guess.” answered James lazily without looking up from the magazine.

A few minutes later, the train pulled out of the station. Severus sat back in his seat, listening to the sound of the engine. He wondered whether Lily’s family knew his father. If they did, they might know why he had left them and where he was now. He was torn. A part of him didn’t want to find out. There was a good chance that his father hadn’t changed, that he was still a mean scary man. If he came back it could ruin the peace his mother and him had found. But there was another part, a hopeful part that believed his father was capable of changing. After all, things hadn’t always been bad. There had been times when he was a lot younger, that he could remember the big intimidating man smile at him and carry him in his arms.

“Seriously, what is with you?” Sirius tried again, staring at him with searching eyes.

Severus frowned. He knew his friends wouldn’t understand even if he told them about his father. They were lucky. They lived in normal homes, with a normal mom and dad. Sirius even had a house elf servant that cleaned after him and obeyed his every order. Remus might understand but the boy had his own problems with his mother being sick and his own poor health.

“Nothing.” snapped Severus. He picked up his cat and stood up. “I’m going to take Julie for a walk.” he announced as he turned to leave.

“That’s for dogs, you know.” said James with a snort.

Severus didn’t respond. He stepped into the corridor and closed the behind him. He could see someone at the other side of the corridor, staring out the window. As he got closer, he recognized the lone figure.

“Evan!” he exclaimed.

The other boy turned to look his way. He looked as gloomy as Severus felt but smiled a little as he recognized him. “Hey, Severus. I missed your chattering over the holiday.” he said.

“I missed you, too.” said Severus with a grin. Suddenly he remembered something and pushed Julie into the other boy’s hands. “Hold her for a second I’ll be right back!” With that he ran back to the compartment and grabbed his bag before running out again.

Evan watched him as he opened his bag and pulled out a wrapped box. “What is that?”

“That’s your Christmas present.” said Severus. He took Julie out of the other boy’s hands and put the present in her place. “Merry Christmas.” he added, smiling encouragingly at him.

“Oh.” said Evan as he stared down at the box. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s alright. Don’t you want to open it?”

The boy hesitated for a moment before tearing the wrapping and picking up the lid. “That’s nice. I like cookies. Thanks Severus.” he said before putting the lid back on. They stood in silence for a few minutes and Evan went back to staring out the window. “You don’t have to stay here. You can go back to your friends if you want.”

“I don’t feel like hanging out with them right now.” confessed Severus. “Sometimes, I feel like I have nothing in common with them. I don’t know how to talk to them.”

“I know what you mean.” murmured Evan. He sighed and turned to look at him. “How was your holiday?”

Severus shrugged. “It was fine. My mom was working a lot but she had a couple of days off and then I went to James’ house with the other boys. Their house was beautiful. It was really big and it had like ten bedrooms and a yard with a quidditch pitch.”

“A big house isn’t always a good thing. Makes it feel emptier.”

“Yeah, maybe.” agreed Severus. “What about you? What did you do over the break?”

“Nothing much. It hasn’t been the same since my mother passed. My father’s friends still invite us over but I’m not fond of any of their children.”

“You can come visit me next year.” offered Severus. “Or over the summer if you like.”

“Thanks, Severus but I’m pretty sure my father wouldn’t let me come.”

“I live near Diagon Alley. We can see each other if you come for shopping.”

“Diagon Alley? That sounds exciting.”

“We live over a pub. It’s called ‘Dimitri’s Dashing Dinner’. That’s where my mom works.”

“So, I should look for you in the pub?” asked Evan with a raised eyebrow.

Severus frowned in thought. “I’m not really allowed to go in there and the pub owner is kind of mean, so he might not let you in.” he explained. “But if you stand in front of Flourish and Blotts, I could see you from my window.”

Evan chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll keep that in mind.” he said, his eyes dancing with mirth. He opened the cookie box again and looked inside. “Which one of them should I try first?” he asked.

“Chocolate chip is my favorite.” answered Severus.

Evan picked up a chocolate chip cookie and held the box out to him.

“I can’t eat your cookies. It’s all for you.”

“Come on, Sev. There’s no way I can finish all of it.”

Severus wanted to argue but thought better of it. He reached over and took one. “If you’re sure.” he said before taking a bite.

They ate a couple of more of the chocolate chip cookies together and shared a pumpkin one. It made them both feel better.


	19. Gryffindor vs Slytherin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus watches the quidditch match with his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. This chapter took a long time to write. You'll know why when you read it. Please let me know what you think.

The entire school was buzzing with excitement. It was the quidditch match of the year, Gryffindor against Slytherin. For the first time Severus was as excited as the rest of his house to watch the game. Ever since Christmas and his flying lesson with Mr. Potter he was a lot more into quidditch and watching a live match was certainly going to be a lot of fun. Unlike his housemates though, he didn’t care that their team was playing against Slytherin.

It was because of the game that Severus didn’t notice Remus’ mood until later in the day. The boy always got anxious and restless right before he left to visit his mother and afterwards he was exhausted. It made Severus uneasy, thinking about what was happening to his friend. Whenever Remus got like that, he became anxious too. He knew he shouldn’t say anything; Remus obviously didn’t want them to find out but it was too much.

“Are you alright, Remus?” he blurted out as they were leaving for the quidditch pitch.

Remus flinched. “What?” he asked, taken aback.

Severus sighed. “You seem nervous.” he said.

“I’m nervous about the game.” lied Remus. “Our team is good and all but it won’t be an easy one.”

Severus frowned. He looked down, focusing on his steps. “Are you going home tonight?” he asked a moment later, unable to stop himself.

“What?” Remus stopped in his tracks. “How did you …” he trailed off and took a deep breath to steady himself. “I am going home. My mother’s illness is gotten worse. How did you know?”

Severus bit his lip. “You get moody right before you leave and you’re drained and tired when you come back.” he said.

Remus paled at once. “I … I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he said. His hands were shaking.

“You’re the one who’s sick, aren’t you?” whispered Severus.

The other boy’s eyes widened. He looked shell shocked, staring at Severus with a mixture of horror and suspicion.

“Are you two coming? We’re going to miss the beginning.” called James. He was standing a few feet away with Sirius and Peter.

Remus was the first one to react. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to keep you.” he said in a shaky voice and ran to where the others were waiting without a backwards glance.

Severus followed after him. They made their way to the stands and found a few empty seats. Remus made a point of choosing a spot as far away from him as possible, leaving him to sit between James and Peter.

“Are you guys fighting?” asked James curiously.

“I guess.” answered Severus with a sigh. He felt horrible. He should have kept his mouth shut. What if Remus never talked to him again?

As the game started, Severus tried to sneak a peek at his friend a couple of times, but it wasn’t easy with James and Sirius jumping up and down in their sits as they cheered for the team and Remus pointedly ignoring him. After a while he gave up and turned his attention to the game. 

Slytherin scored fairly quickly and kept getting points while Gryffidor tried to catch up. It got boring after a while, so Severus focused on the seekers, admiring their speed and precision as they zoomed about the field, looking for the snitch. The little winged ball showed up right above the Gryffindor goals. Both seekers went after it but then it disappeared again. The next time, it was seen near the ground. The Gryffindor seeker was closer. He lunged after it but the snitch started to fly upwards. The other seeker, who was lowering her broom suddenly changed direction, controlling the broom with incredible ease and caught the golden snitch just as the other player was reaching for it.

Severus jumped to his feet and cheered. It was absolutely amazing!

“Jason missed the snitch, you idiot.” James snapped at him.

“I know. Didn’t you see how Clare changed directions and caught it?”

“You’re cheering for the other team? What is wrong with you?” Peter chimed in.

Looking from Peter’s angry face to James’ equally pissed up expression, Severus blushed and looked down in embarrassment. He stayed subsided as they left the stands and got inside the castle, listening to his friends insulting the Slytherin players. He tried to catch Remus’ eyes but the boy was still ignoring him.

It wasn’t until they reached their dorm that all the attentions turned to him once more.

“What were you doing, cheering for the Slytherins?” asked James, more annoyed than angry now.

“It was a good catch. I got excited.” answered Severus defensively.

“It doesn’t matter if it was a good catch or not. You’re a Gryffindor. Your job is to cheer your own team, no matter what.”

Severus shrugged. “I just wanted to see a quidditch game. I don’t care who won.”

“We lost the quidditch cup! To Slytherins no less.”

“What’s the big deal?” retorted Severus.

James looked at him as if he had lost his mind. “You’re really clueless, aren’t you?” he snapped.

“The Slytherins are evil! All of them.” said Sirius.

“No, they’re not!”

“Is that what your friend Evan has told you?” asked Remus, his tone laced with sarcasm and resentment.

Severus looked at him in surprise. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, truly baffled.

Remus didn’t answer and looked away.

“It means you’re too chummy with him.” said James. “He’s a Slytherin. You shouldn’t be friends with someone like that.”

“Evan is nice. He’s a good friend. I don’t care what house he’s in.”

“He may look nice on the outside but he’s try to take advantage of you.” said Sirius.

“That’s not true. He’s not trying to do anything. He’s my friend.”

“He is. You just don’t see it.”

Severus paused, looking from Sirius to James and back again. “Are you saying I’m stupid?” he accused.

James shrugged. “Well …” he started to say.

“We’re not saying that. You’re … you’re naïve.” Sirius cut him off. “You want to be friends with everyone. Trust me, you don’t want to be friends with the wrong bunch.”

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do. I can be friends with whoever I want!”

“You’re our housemate. We’ve got to look after you.”

“Look after me?!” said Severus in disbelieve, then frowned, remembering something. “You tripped Evan on purpose the other day, didn’t you? You said it was an accident but it wasn’t.” Sirius’ guilty look was answer enough. “I don’t believe you! You’re bullying him just because he’s friends with me after you promised not to do that again.”

The silence stretched in the room as Severus glared at the taller boy. He couldn’t remember being this angry in his entire life.

The door suddenly opened and McGonagall stepped in, seemingly unaware of the tension in the room. “Are you ready Mr. Lupin?” she asked.

Remus turned to look at him for the first time. He turned around after a moment and followed the Professor out of the room. Severus felt all of his energy draining at once and lower himself on his bed. Julie took that as cue to climb into his lap and started meowing, asking for attention. Severus stared at her. He remembered the day Sirius had given him the cat, the same day the boy had promised to change. He didn’t want to have anything to do with Julie anymore.

Julie didn’t give up. She kept meowing and rubbing her head on his chest, pleading to be petted. Severus felt his resolve melting away. He put his arms around her and stroked her soft fur.

“You promised.” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

“I know. I’m sorry. I get angry sometimes and I just …” Sirius whispered back. “I won’t do it again.”

Severus didn’t say anything; afraid he might burst into tears if he spoke. He turned his back on his roommates and lay down, still holding Julie. He must have fallen asleep like that because the next morning, he woke up still laying on his side. Julie had moved away during the night though and was now dozing under the bed. Severus let her be and went down to the common room to sit next to the fire.

No one else was there, since it was still early and a Sunday. As he sat in silence, his thoughts turned to what had happened last evening. He realized, no matter what he did he was never going to fit in. He was too different.

He was too deep in thought that he vaguely noticed someone entering the common room and sitting next to him.

“Hey” said Remus quietly.

Severus turned to look at him. The boy had dark bags under his eyes and there was a new scar on his temple. He wanted to ask Remus if he was OK, but bit his lip to stop himself. “Hey.” he whispered instead.

“I just wanted you to know, nobody thinks you’re stupid.” said Remus.

Severus snorted. “James and Sirius do.” he retorted.

“They’re wrong. I think it’s great that you have so many friends.”

“You don’t like Evan.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him, exactly.” said Remus, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I think I’m jealous of him.”

Severus frowned. Trying to understand “Why?” he asked.

“Because you always want to hang out with him.”

“Why would that make you jealous? You and I hang out all the time. We sleep in the same room and study together and sit in class together, except for potions.”

“I know it’s ridiculous but I’m not good at making friends like you. You’re my best friend and I thought I was yours.”

“Of course you’re my best friend, Remus!” exclaimed Severus. “I came to Gryffindor because of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were sorted first and you went to Gryffindor, so I told the hat to send me there, too. It said I’s do better in Slytherin or Ravenclaw but sorted me in Gryffindor anyways.” he explained.

“Oh.” was all Remus said in response.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Remus spoke again. “You were right. My mother is not sick; it’s me. It gets bad every few weeks but then it gets better. I’ve been like this since I was a child.” he said.

“Do you scratch yourself because you’re in pain?” asked Severus pointing to the other boy’s temple.

Remus touched the scar self-consciously and nodded.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you guys wouldn’t understand.”

Severus turned in his seat and pulled the other boy in a tight hug. “I could come with you.” he whispered.

“No!” snapped Remus, pulling away. “Don’t ever do that.”

“Why not?”

“I told you, you wouldn’t understand!”

“But I do! I was sick for a while, too.” said Severus. “I was in the hospital for three years.”

“What happened?” asked Remus, surprised.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember how I ended up there but I was in a coma.” said Severus. He felt the words pouring out of him. He had never talked about this with anyone. “They said I had an accident and hit my head. They gave me a potion to stop me from aging while I was unconscious. That’s why I look like this! That’s why I’m so small. I’m three years younger than the rest of you. I turned nine just last month.” he was breathing heavily now and tears were running down his chicks.

Remus reached a hand and gently whipped away his tears. “I don’t know why the hat told you, you’d do better in another house. You’re very brave.” he said. There was sadness in his voice.

“It’s nice to have someone visit you when you’re sick. I always got so happy when my mom came to visit. I’ll come see you if you want.” offered Severus.

Remus bit his lip. “I don’t really want anyone with me at night. Maybe you could come see me in the infirmary in the morning, while everyone else is still asleep?” he asked shyly.

Severus nodded and smiled. He felt a heavy weight off of his shoulders.

“Want to go to breakfast? I’m starving.” said Remus and practically dragged him out of the common room, even though he was still in his pajamas.


	20. The Study Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the end of the term exams and Severus is struggling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I've posted, I know. I've been going through a tough time lately. It's not easy to hold on to a job in this situation, but lucky for me I have my family to support me. I hope all of you guys are doing alright. If you're going through something as well feel free to share.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter.

The day Severus told him his real age, Remus realized things had to change between them. It was crazy, thinking his best friend was still a child. It did explain why Severus was so much smaller than the other first years and why his behavior was sometimes childish. On the other hand, Severus often acted more mature than the rest of their friends. He was thoughtful and considerate and his presence was oddly reassuring. It almost made Remus feel guilty, knowing how much he relayed on the younger boy. Before coming to Hogwarts, he had been terrified of talking to other children. He had never dared to make friends, even though he yearned for it. Meeting Severus on the train had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. The boy’s easy and friendly manner had lessened his anxiety and had given him courage and confidence.

Now, the dynamic of their friendship seemed wrong. Remus had to be the one to look after Severus, not the other way around. He tried to be more gentle with him and help him in any way he could. Unfortunately, his efforts were not well received. Severus was too insightful for his own good and started to pick up on it rather quickly. Things only got more tense between them when the end of the year exams started.

“You’re doing it again!” snapped Severus, exasperated as Remus tried to help him with transfiguration. “You’re talking down to me.”

“I’m not talking down to you! I’m try to explain it in a way you’ll understand.”

“So you’re saying I’m too stupid to understand if you talk to me like a grown-up?”

Remus sighed and closed his eyes for a second. “Severus, …” he started patiently.

“See? Now, you’re talking in that tone! You do it all the time.” accused Severus, with narrowed eyes.

“Cut it out guys. We’ve got to go now or we’ll be late for the exam.” said Sirius.

“Oh, no!” exclaimed Severus as he looked at the clock on his bedside table. “I’m going to fail transfiguration.”

“You’re not going to fail. Why would you say that?” said Remus gently. “Listen, just try to relax. I know spell work isn’t your strong suit but you’d do worse if you’re stressed.” continued Remus as they made their way to the transfiguration classroom.

“Thanks a lot. Now I have to worry about that!” grumbled Severus, scowling.

Remus sighed in frustration and shook his head. He felt bad for Severus. The boy always studied harder than anyone else in their year and had been practicing his spells non-stop since the beginning of the exams.

McGonagall was standing by the door when they reached the classroom. She didn’t look pleased. “Where have you been, boys? The instructions I posted on the board specifically say you need to be in the class at least fifteen minutes before your exam.” she said, looking at each of them with narrowed eyes.

“It’s Severus’ fault. He was practicing until the last minute. He’s losing his mind over the exams!” complained James.

“Hey!” exclaimed Severus, looking mortified.

The Professor’s eyes softened. She studied the young boy for a moment. “The written exam is first. How about you focus on that right now, Mr. Prince? You’ve always done an excellent job on your essays, I’m sure you’ll do well on that.” she said kindly.

Severus gave her a small smile, the praise lifting his mood a bit.

“Now, go sit down. You’ve wasted enough time as it is.” she added to the rest of them.

Remus chose a sit next to Severus. As the exam started, he kept glancing at the boy’s direction. He was a little hesitant at first but as time passed, he seemed to gain confidence and started scribing frantically on the parchment. Seeing that, Remus turned his attention back to his own parchment and hurried to write down the answers.

Once the time was up, he could see that Severus had written more than any of their neighbors.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked.

“I think I did OK.” answered Severus with a smile. The smile fell from his face a second later, though. “It’s time for the practical exam.”

“You’re going to do fine, you’ll see.” reassured Remus.

McGonagall put a few items in front of each of them to transform and waited for them to perform the spells before inspecting their work and writing down their grade in a leather bound notebook. James and Sirius were the first ones to finish and jumped out of their seats as soon as the Professor checked their work. Peter followed them soon after, even though his transfiguration was rushed and sloppy; as McGonagall put it. Everyone else finished almost at the same time. Everyone except for Severus. The transfiguration Professor moved between the tables and wrote down their grades as slowly as possible to give him more time. By the time she reached Severus’ table, only a couple of other students were left in the class.

“The time’s up, Mr. Prince.” said McGonagall gently. “May I check your work?”

Severus stopped mid motion and lowered his wand, a defeated expression on his face. “Am I going to fail?” he whispered. None of the items on the table were fully transformed. The matches were not uniformed and the snuff box still resembled a mouse.

“I will need to grade your written exam, but I’m pretty sure you’re going to pass my class.”

“Really?”

“Yes, as long as you’ve answered most of the questions you will pass.”

“I answered all the questions!”

“Then you don’t need to worry.” said McGonagall, patting Severus on the shoulder who slumped in his chair in relief.

“See? I told you.” said Remus when the Professor walked away. “And there’s only one exam left.”

“The last exam is charms. I’m even worse in charms than in transfiguration.” said Severus quietly, looking down at his hands.

“I can help you practice if you want.” said a female voice, making them both jump.

They turned to see Lily Evans standing right beside them, her long red hair framing her face.

Severus blinked a couple of times. “I … um…” he stuttered.

“That would be really great, Lily.” said Remus. “If you’re sure.”

“Yes, it’s no problem.” said Lily, giving them a big smile. “I’ll see you in the common room after lunch.” she continued, turning to Severus.

The boy stared back at her for a moment before nodding. Lily smiled bigger before turning on her heel and leaving out the door.

“Why did you do that for?” hissed Severus as soon as she was out of the earshot.

“What? What did I do?”

“You talked for me, like I’m a kid!”

“You ARE a kid!” snapped Remus, at the end of his patience.

Severus gasped. He gathered his things and stormed out of the room. Remus cursed and ran after him.

“Severus, wait up!” he called. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Severus did slow down, but he didn’t say anything.

“Is it so bad? That I’m trying to look out for you?” he said quietly. “Lily is really good at charms. She can help you.”

“I don’t want to study with her.”

“Why ever not? She’s a nice girl.” asked Remus. Now that he thought about it, Severus had been avoiding her the past few months. It was odd, considering Severus never missed a chance to make a new friend. “Do you have a crush on her or something?”

Severus’ eyes widened. “No, I don’t!” he snapped.

Remus shrugged. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. She’s beautiful, with her red hair and green eyes.”

“Then maybe you have a crush on her.” said Severus as they sat at the Gryffindor table.

“Remus has a crush on someone. Who’s the lucky girl?” asked Sirius, a mischievous smile on his face.

Remus blushed. “There’s no girl!” he snapped.

“It’s a boy, then? That’s cool, you know.” James chimed in.

Remus covered his face with his hands, as he felt his chicks burning.

Severus put a comforting hand on his back. “Quit teasing him. You’re making him uncomfortable.” he defended.

“You’re the one who started it.” shrugged James. “Besides, we only want to help.”

He turned to Severus and they shared a look. They both knew James and Sirius were not going to drop the issue any time soon. Remus sighed and braced himself. They left the table as soon as they were done with lunch.

“Sorry about that.” said Severus.

“It’s alright.” murmured Remus. “I hope they don’t see us studying with Lily or dinner will go pretty much the same.”

“We can tell her we’ve changed our mind.”

“What’s with you? Why don’t you want to study with her?” 

“Because, …” Severus trailed off. It looked like he didn’t want to say anything for a moment but then he continued. “Her family leaves in the town we used to live in.”

Remus frowned, confused. “I remember you guys talking about it the first day of school. What does that have to do with anything?” he asked.

Severus bit his lip. “They might know where my dad is.” he answered quietly.

Remus knew Severus’ dad was a sore issue. It had come up a few times but his friend didn’t like to talk about it. “I don’t think studying with her is going to change anything. You’ve been living in the same place for the whole year. If she wanted to tell you something or do something about it, she would have by now.” he reasoned.

“I guess you’re right.” said Severus.

They chose a spot in the common room next to window and waited for Lily. The girl arrived a few minutes later. She got right into the practice as she sat down nest to them.

“Charms is really not that hard. All you need to do is pronounce the spells carefully, do the right wand movement and focused. We’ll start with ‘wingardium leviosa’ and go through the rest of the spells one by one. You can practice them a bit more later.” she explained and took out her wand.

“Hold on, I want to take some notes.” said Severus and took out a roll of parchment and a quill.

“What a beautiful quill! I’ve never seen anything like it.” exclaimed Lily, her eyes wide in awe.

Severus smiled at her. “Sirius gave it to me for Christmas. I can’t give it away since it’s a gift but you can borrow it for the exam tomorrow.” he said and handed it to her while he fished out another quill.

“Really? That’s so nice of you!” said Lily blushing with pleasure.

Remus smiled to himself to turned his attention to his charms book. He didn’t need to worry any more. Severus was going to do fine on the exam.


	21. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus' first day back home doesn't go as planned.

Eileen was anxious to see her son. It had been too long since she had last held him and it pained her knowing she was missing out on him growing up. They wrote to each other often. She knew all of his friends and what he did every day in the castle from his classes and his exams to his adventures in the castle. But it wasn’t enough. Severus was already nine years old and was going to become a teenager in a couple of years. There wasn’t a day she wasn’t tempted to pull him out of school and bring him home. If only she could afford better living arrangements.

Her dream was to one day live in a house where her son could run around and play like a child his age was supposed to. The house would have a garden where they could grow their own herbs and a shed where Severus could practice brewing potions, which was his absolute favorite activity. Instead, they lived in a room with only enough space for their beds and wardrobes. Where his son would be locked in all day while she worked only a few meters away.

Not this summer, Eileen had vowed herself. She had been working overtime and had saved some money, so that she didn’t have to work long hours for the next few weeks and Maggie had promised to cover for her as much as possible. Already planning Severus’ first day of the holidays, Eileen stepped out of the building and apparated to the station. She crossed the barrier and stood in a corner, waiting. A few minutes later, the train pulled into the station and children started pouring out. She scanned the crowd for Severus. Her heart skipped a bit when she saw him climbing the stairs down with his friends. His eyes lightened up the moment he saw her. He waved to her, grinning.

Eileen waited patiently as his son said goodbye to his friends and finally ran to where she was standing. She opened her arms to catch him.

“Sweetheart, I’ve missed you so much.” she murmured against his hair and held on to him for a few more minutes.

“I’ve miss you, too.” whispered Severus and cupped her cheek in his hand.

“Ready to go home?” she asked, straightening up. To which his son nodded. They were about to turn and leave when a young voice stopped them.

“Excuse me.” said a read headed girl, getting their attention. Her cheeks were flushed red and she was panting as if she had run all the way there. “I almost forgot, Severus. I still have your quill.” she added as she handed the quill back.

“Thanks, Lily.” said Severus, grinning. “Mom, Lily helped me study for charms.”

“How wonderful. Thank you for helping my son.” said Eileen, unwilling to alienate Severus’ friend despite her reservations.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I’ve wanted to become friends with Severus for the longest time. He’s always nice to everyone.” explained Lily.

“I’m glad he has a friend like you.” said Eileen. “It was nice meeting you, Lily. But I’m afraid we’re going to have to leave.”

“Goodbye, Lily.” said Severus, giving the taller girl a quick hug.

“Goodbye. Have a nice summer.” said Lily. “Oh, here come my parents.” she added as she was about to leave.

“Did you find your friend, dear?” asked Violet Evans.

“Yes, this is Severus and that’s his mother.” answered Lily.

“It’s nice to meet you …” Violet trailed off. “Eileen?” she whispered, disbelieving.

“Mrs. Snape?” exclaimed the man standing next to her.

Eileen paled but held her head high. “It’s Prince now and we were about to leave.” she said, putting a hand on Severus’ shoulder, protectively.

“No, Eileen. Please don’t go!” said Violet. “It’s been so long. We would have contacted you if we knew how. Can we go somewhere to talk?”

“We have nothing to talk about, now if you’ll excuse me …”

“He’s been in prison for five years. Lord knows he deserves every minute of it but he’s changed. He’s sober now and he’s desperate to see his son.” said, Mr. Evans.

“There’s no way in hell I’d let him anywhere near my boy after everything he put us through!” hissed Eileen, losing all control. “He’s sober because he can’t get his filthy hands on a drink. That man will never change.”

“Mom?” whispered Severus, pulling on her robe. “Are you talking about my father?”

Eileen looked down and felt her heart break at the vulnerable look on his face. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Let’s go home.”

This time nobody protested as they turned to leave. Severus didn’t say anything the entire way home and then sat quietly on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest.

“Severus? Say something, darling.” said Eileen, kneeling in front of him.

“You lied.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You said he left and that you didn’t know where he was. Why did you lie?”

Eileen sighed. “Tobias went to prison because he hurt someone very badly. I wanted to protect you.” she tried to explain.

“I thought I could never see him again.”

“I don’t want you near that man. I know you don’t remember much but he put us both through hell. I don’t regret leaving. My only regret is that I didn’t leave sooner.”

“I do remember.” said Severus in a small voice. “He was mean and nasty but … they said he’s changed.”

“People like that don’t change that easily.”

“What if he has?”

“What if he hasn’t? I don’t want him to hurt you again.”

“Please? Can we go see him?” asked Severus pleadingly.

Eileen blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. She sat down next to her son on the bed him into a tight hug. She didn’t know what to do. All she had done was to protect him from getting hurt but it was obvious he was hurting. The thought of being in the same room as Tobias made her skin crawl but denying her boy’s request could do more damage than good.

“You know I’ll do anything for you, sweetheart. If you want to see him this badly, we’ll go but I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Chances are, he’s still as mean and nasty as he used to be.”

Severus nodded into her chest. Eileen realized he was crying and held him closer, drawing small circles on his back. She let her own tears fall and prayed to Merlin that she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life.


	22. Tobias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus visits his father in prison.

Almost a month passed without either of them mentioning Tobias. Even though Severus couldn't stop thinking about the man he kept himself from asking, trusting that mother would keep her promise. 

He had mixed feelings about meeting his father. He truly hoped that the big scary man had changed. Severus spent most of his time daydreaming about what things would be like if he had. As much as he wished his father would turn into someone like Mr. Potter with his kind eyes and comforting presence, he knew it wasn’t likely. Mother certainly didn’t believe that. Still, it was possible that he had changed a little. Severus only hoped it was enough. All he wanted was for his father to smile more and spend time with him instead of drinking with his friends every night and he never wanted to see the man yell at his mother and make her cry ever again.

Some nights he’d have nightmares. He’d dream of their old gloomy house and of his father’s face twisted into an ugly scowl. When the dreams were bad, the man would be looming over him with raised fists and Severus would wake up crying. He never told his mother about the nightmares, afraid she would refuse to let him meet his father if he did. He’d wipe off his tears and climb into bed with her. Mother never complained about it. She planted small kisses on his forehead and cheeks to wake him up in the morning and smiled at him, even as her eyes shone with worry.

The day Eileen told him they were going to the prison to see father, she looked apprehensive and as much as Severus had anticipated the visit, he started to feel anxious as well. His anxiety only grew as they were about to leave, to the point where he couldn't put on his shoes.

"What's wrong?" asked his mother, worried. "You don't look well. We'll go another time."

"No, I want to go now." mumbled Severus. If only he could get his heart to beat slower.

Mother sighed. "You're too stubborn for your own good, sweetheart." she said as she ran a hand through his hair fondly. "I've already visited him once, you know." she added hesitantly.

"You did?"

"Yes, a few weeks ago. The first time you went to your friend's house." she explained. "I needed to see him before I took you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Severus, frowning. His mother was in a habit of keeping secrets it seemed.

"I'm telling you now."

It was Severus' turn to sigh. "What was he like?" he asked a moment later, biting his lip.

"He was sober, which is good." she said reassuringly. "He says he regrets what happened and I believe him but I don't think he understands what he did wrong. Apparently, he's been pestering everyone from our old town for years to find us. He says he wants to be a better father." she paused. It seemed she was at war with herself. "I don't want to take the chance away from you to spend time with him but he needs to prove that he's capable of caring for you first. I've told him as much. I'd say he'd be on his best behavior today, so no need to worry."

Severus nodded. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself and let mother put his shoes on for him. Once that was done, she put her arms around him and apparated them. As their feet landed on the ground, Severus felt the world swimming around him and held on to her to steady himself. Eileen waited patiently, drawing circles on his back. He pulled away once he felt steady enough and they moved towards a large concrete building. When reached the entrance his mother stopped and kneeled in front of him.

“You sure you want to go through with it?” she asked, looking at him searchingly.

Severus nodded, giving her a small smile.

“If you change your mind at any moment, we’ll turn around and leave.” she promised and took his hand in her own.

They went through a few doors and down a few hallways. His mother talked to a couple of guards along the way, showing them their identification and answering a few questions. At one point they had to go through a metal detector. Severus barely paid attention to any of it, his heart filled with equal parts hope and dread. In the end, they reached a large room with a few sets of tables place in the center. They sat down at one of the ones.

Severus folded his hands in his lap as he looked around. All the chairs were bolted down to the floor and everything was either metal or painted a sickly yellow color. All in all, it was a very depressing place. He wandered what the cells looked like, probably no more cheerful than this.

“He’s here.” mother whispered, grabbing one of his hands in her own.

Severus looked up as two men walked towards them. One of them was a guard and the other was a tall man with broad shoulders and a big nose. His father’s eyes found his and the man stopped in his tracks for a moment before walking the rest of the way to their tale and sitting in one of the empty chairs, not taking his eyes off of him.

Severus studied the man before him. He looked a lot thinner than he remembered but still seemed to be as strong as he used to. His hair had a few strikes of white in them and there were a few lines on his forehead that didn’t used to be there. He started to feel uncomfortable as a frown formed on his fathers’ lips and the man’s eyes narrowed.

“Tobias.” said his mother, a warning tone in her voice.

The man turned to glare at her. “Why is he so small? He’s twelve, isn’t he? Don’t you feed him?” he asked, his voice rising with each question.

“Calm yourself, Tobias!” hissed Eileen, pointing with her head to the guard who was standing close by.

Tobias closed his eyes for a moment. “Well?” he asked, more subsided.

“As I told you before, he was sick for a long time. You didn’t honestly expect him to get out of it unscratched, did you?”

The man ran a hand through his graying hair. “Is he healthy now?” he asked shakily.

“He is. He needs to make up for lost time is all.”

Severus frowned. He didn’t like that they were speaking about him as if he wasn’t sitting right there. “Mother says I’m going to grow tall soon.” he said.

His father turned to him once more, this time barely meeting his eyes. “I’m sure you will.” he said.

“And I always eat well. There’s plenty of food at home and at Hogwarts, too.” he felt the need to clarify.

“That would be that magical school of yours. What’s that like? Do you get along with the other kids?”

Severus nodded, smiling. “I have a lot of friends. Remus is my best friend and there’s Sirius and James and Peter; They’re all my roommates. My other best friend is Evan but he’s in another house. We seat at potions together and we study at the library sometimes. The rest of the time I study with Remus in the common room. There’s a big fireplace there and all the furniture is red and gold, which I don’t care for but it still isn’t that bad. James loves red and gold. He’s obsessed with anything to do with Gryffindor. I like Slytherin colors better; that’s Evan’s house. They live in the dungeons. We Gryffindors have a tower and so do Ravenclaws. Their house color is blue …” he trailed off, realizing he was babbling. He threw a nervous look at his father.

Tobias was leaning closer and he looked almost disappointed as he stopped talking. “And your teachers? What have you learned so far?” he promoted.

Severus grinned, perking up again. “Professor McGonagall is our head of house. She’s strict but she’s a lot nicer than she lets on. She teaches transfiguration, which means turning things into other things. Our first lesson was turning a matchstick into a needle but mine turned into a worm.” he paused. It made him a little sad to think about Bob. “My favorite subject is potions. Mom doesn’t let me make them at home but I brew all sorts of potions at school. For first year the potions are simple, like the one for curing boils and later we’ll learn to make more complex ones. There are potions for all sorts of things, like for healing and getting rid of pest.”

“That’s useful. Do play any sports?”

“The only wizarding sport I know is quidditch. We have teams for that at school. This year we had flying lessons but next year we get to try out to be on the team. I want to become seeker. Mr. Potter says I’m going to make the team for sure.”

“Who is this Mr. Potter? Your teacher?”

“No, he’s James’ dad.” explained Severus.

Tobias frowned, leaning back in his chair. “How often do you see that man?” he asked, his tone heavy with suspicion.

“Whenever I go visit James. He’s teaching me flying technics.” answered Severus. He was confused at the man’s reaction. “Would you come to my games when I make the team?” he chanced asking.

His father’s expression darkened. “I won’t be leaving this hell hole your mother has put me in any time soon.” he sneered and turned to Eileen. “Have you been seeing this Potter? Is that what it’s been all about?”

“How dare you accuse me of such a thing! He’s a married man.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you, you rotten …”

“I want to leave!” Severus cut in, raising to his feet. Tears filled his eyes. How did it go wrong so quickly? 

His mother rose as well, putting a hand protectively on his shoulder. “It’s alright, sweetheart. We’re going home.” she said firmly.

“No! Don’t take him away. I’m sorry.” said his father quickly, looking uneasily at the guard who had stepped closer.

“I’m not going to force him to stay if he wants to leave. Don’t make this worse”

“You’ll have him write to me though, right?”

“It’s up to him.”

Tobias turned his pleading eyes to him. Severus felt something twist in his heart at that look.

“Please, son. You can tell me all about your games. It’ll be just like I’m right there.”

Severus swallowed. He gave a small nod and then followed his mother out of the room. He kept glancing back as the guard took his father away. This wasn’t at all what he had expected.


	23. Regulus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Regulus' first year at Hogwarts and Sirius can't stand it.

Sirius was dangerously close to strangling his brother. They had to leave for the station and Regulus was taking his sweet time getting ready. The boy had been annoying him all summer with his unstoppable chatter about Hogwarts and his endless questions. On top of that, the brat threw a tantrum any time Sirius wanted to go over to James' house, begging to come with him. They ended up fighting about it every time and Sirius was the one getting blamed by their mother.

It wasn't fair. All his life he had been forced to endure Regulus following him around like a lost poppy and copying his every move. There was no getting rid of him and whenever they got in trouble it was always Sirius' fault. Since going to Hogwarts, he had been free of the brat for the first time and he wasn't going to let that get ruined. He was almost certain Regulus was going to end up in Slytherin like the rest of their family which would make avoiding him a lot easier.

Sirius checked the time again and swore under his breath. He was sure his friends were already sitting in a compartment waiting for him. He gritted his teeth in annoyance and marched to Regulus' room, pulling the door open with force.

"Damn it, Reg! What's taking so long?" he snapped.

His brother was sitting on the floor, rampaging through his overflowing luggage. "I want to make sure I didn't forget anything." he explained.

"Forget anything?! You've put everything you own in there from the look of it. Why the hell do you need all that crap for?"

"None of your business!"

"It IS my business when mom and dad are making me wait for you." said Sirius through gritted teeth. He stepped forward and closed the trunk before picking it up and walking out of the room. If it wasn't for the feather-light charms, he was sure it would have taken two grown men to carry it.

"Hey! Give it back. I wasn't done." whined Regulus, following him.

Sirius ignored his brother's protests and made his way to the fireplace.

"We're ready." he announced to his parents as he placed Regulus' school trunk beside his own.

"About time. Let's go." grumbled their father.

Sirius gave his brother a smuggle look before flooing after the man.

As soon as they reached the platform Sirius took off for the train, ignoring his mother’s disapproving look. He had spent the whole summer with his family, he wasn’t about to waste more time on saying goodbye. He started going through the compartments, opening the doors and closing them just to get a glance at the occupants. He finally found his friends in the eighth compartment.

"Morning people!" he called out, grinning. "Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?"

"Hi, I'm Regulus; Sirius' brother." said someone from behind him.

"What are you doing here? Get out!" snapped Sirius. He had no idea the brat had managed to follow him.

Regulus walked right past him. "And you are …?" he asked expectedly.

Peter for some reason seemed eager to indulge him. "I'm Peter and this is …"

"You don't have to talk to him." Sirius interrupted the boy. "Beat it, Reggie!"

"You're Severus, right? I thought they were exaggerating but you're really small. I haven't met many Princes but the ones I've seen are pretty tall."

Severus blinked at him as if unsure of how to react.

"That's it." grumbled Sirius and shoved his brother out before closing the door in his face and lucking it with a spell.

"So, that's your annoying brother, huh?" asked James, smirking.

"The brat lives to get on my nerves." said Sirius. He put his trunk away and squeezed himself between James and Peter.

"I didn't know you had a brother." commented Remus, looking at Severus questioningly.

"Me neither." murmured Severus. "What exactly did you tell him about me?" he asked, looking peeved.

Sirius reached over and ruffled the boy's hair, smirking as he squirmed away. "Told him you’re cute as corn and tiny enough to fit in my pocket."

"I'm two months older than you!" protested Severus, blushing.

They all laughed. Severus crossed his arms over his chest and Sirius had to stop himself from ruffling his hair again. "I'm just pulling your leg, kiddo. I don't talk to Reg unless absolutely necessary. Narcissa must have said something. Those two are thick as thieves."

"So, he's bound to be a snake, too." commented James.

"I'll bet my broom on it."

"Oh, that reminds me." James turned to Severus. "My dad had me bring your broom."

"What do you mean? I don't have a broom."

"The one you practice with when you come over."

"But …"

"You need a decent broom if you're going to play seeker." said James and then started rambling on about the tryouts.

Sirius frowned as he noticed Severus curl into himself at the mention of quidditch. He was probably nervous, Sirius figured. For some reason that made him think of Regulus. He wandered where his brother had ended up sitting. He was probably with one of their cousins. Although they were all a lot older and wouldn’t want to sit with a first year. Sirius shook himself out of that thought. Why would he care where the brat was sitting? Besides, he had been on his own last year and had even managed to make friends with James.

They spent the rest of the way to Hogwarts talking and playing exploding snaps and Sirius did his best not to think about Regulus. As they reached Hogsmeade station they got on a carriage, dragged with invisible horses and rode to school. Sirius was definitely not thinking about how Regulus was fairing on the boat, knowing his brother had an irrational fear of drowning. And he definitely didn’t sigh in relief when he saw him enter the great hall with the rest of the first years.

Regulus kept his head high, projecting an air of confidence as he waited to be sorted but Sirius knew from his rigid stance that he was just as nervous as the other first years. Luckily Regulus was the second student to be called, one of the many benefits of carrying the last name Black. Sirius held his breath. He’d never admit it, but there was a part of him that hoped his brother didn’t end up in Slytherin. Anywhere but Slytherin, he prayed.

He felt a rush of bitter disappointment as his prayer went unanswered and Regulus walked over to the table on the other side of the room, decorated in green and silver. It was no surprise really, Regulus had always wanted to blend in with the older kids when they were growing up and here he was following in their footsteps. Sirius couldn’t help but feel betrayed however. As much as he wanted to break free from his brother he couldn’t bear the thought of the boy turning against him like the rest of his family. Sirius barely touched his food and lay awake in his bed long after his roommates had gone to sleep. He felt like he had just lost his only brother.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked the first chapter. Please let me know your thoughts, your comments are always helpful.


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